Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

My friends and boys

Well I have 2 best friends and we were all hanging out yesterday. They knew I like this guys a little and lots of people in the school knew that he kind of liked me too. They were laughing at the sleep over and I kept asking them what but they wouldn't tell me because she said she didn't want to hurt my feelings. She finally told my that the guy I like told her that he likes her and she was pretty much rubbing it in my face. She's kind of fake and bitchy sometimes but she can also be a great friend so I don't know what to do about her. Plus I cried all day today because I actually really like the boy and she doesn't even sent o care that my feelings are hurt. The other friend just kind of follows this friend and does nothing about it really. It also really annoys me because everyone in our school thinks this girl is so pretty and all the guys like her and know the guy that I like like her and we're all in the same friend group so it's even weirder.
Ask Sam

Sam

Hello,

Friendships can be difficult at times. We’re all different and experience things differently, so it’s natural to have times when our friends make us feel unhappy - whether they mean to do this or not.

It’s good that there are times when she can be a great friend, and it may help to think about what makes her a good friend and when this changes. By being more aware of this, it can help you to explore whether you feel the friendship is a good genuine friendship or one which makes you feel upset more often than supported and happy.

When someone treats us in a way that feels like they are deliberately trying to upset or hurt us, this can be classed as bullying. Bullying of any kind, by anyone is never okay. It can feel hard to know how to manage the situation, but you deserve to get support. Talking to an adult you trust is a great way to help. 

It can be confusing when we hear rumours about some we like. And it’s hard to know what’s true and who to believe. Often the only way we can know for sure how someone feels is to hear it from them. If you feel able to, building your confidence to talk to him about how you feel, and finding out how he feels may help you to know where you stand.

Like friendships, relationships can be complicated, particularly when it begins to affect friendships. It can help to think about this and perhaps talk through with your friend what might happen if you did talk to him about how you are feeling.

If you are still feeling confused, remember that you can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor. You can also talk to other people about how you are feeling on the our message boards. This is not something you have to go through alone.

Take care,
Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter