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To Sam

My friend is using her arm as an excuse

My friend is using her broken arm as an excuse for me to do everything while i have really bad hay fever right now! She is getting upset because i have to walk her home because of her broken arm but she lives next to a field which triggers my hay fever which is already as bad as it is meaning i can't walk her home. When i told her this she got upset and mad at me and started using her broken arm as an excuse saying i'm just ditching her.  what should i do?
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Having friends is a normally a really great thing and can make you feel good but like any relationship, there can be times when things become difficult. You might fall out or become distant and during these times it can make you feel upset and find it hard to cope.

One of the keys to a good friendship is that you both support each other. That means doing things like helping each other, listening and respecting each other and not putting each other down or in dangerous situations. There is more information on our page about friendship which you might like to check out.

It is up to your friend’s parents or carers to make sure that she is safe to go to and from school, not the responsibility of her friend. It’s clear that you want to support your friend and have tried to do so but that on this occasion, helping her to get home is causing a problem for you with your hay fever.

Talking to your friend was the right thing to do, and it disappointing that she isn’t accepting what you say as a valid reason. It might be good to talk to her again to explain your reasons for making the decision not to walk her home and perhaps suggest that she asks her parents or carers for help. It could be that another friend might live close by to her and that she could walk with them. 

Maybe you could contact each other when you both arrive home to check that you are both okay.

You talk about your hay fever being bad and I’m wondering what support you have for that.  You could get checked out by your doctor or go to the local pharmacy to see what they could suggest which might help.

If you would like to talk things through some more you could contact a counsellor at ChildLine by phone, chat or email for more support.

Take care,


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