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To Sam

Laws of rape?

If a boy(16) and a girl(15) have a sexual encounter in which the girl asked the boy if she could perform an action on the boy to which he consented while they were both drunk. If the girl later happens to regret what happened and reports it to the police what is the likely outcome? I have looked up and read that if while drunk they give consent or want to do it it s okay but have not been able to find out whether it s the same for a girl of 15 and a boy of 16. As apparently you cannot give consent under the age of 16.

Also the girl cannot really remember what happened and has said it could be rape? And many people were present at the occasion who would happily come forward and say that the girl was willing etc and came onto me(the boy).

Would you mind telling me what I should do etc and what the outcome may be?

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Giving consent to sex can be a confusing issue for young people. As far as the law goes, if you’re under the age of 16 or so drunk that you’re unable to make decisions then you can’t consent to sex.

It’s unlikely that the police would become involved when young people of a similar age have sex they both agree to, but having sex with somebody who hasn’t given their consent is against the law.

It sounds like you had a sexual experience when you were both drunk. What the police would be most interested in is whether either of you deliberately took advantage of the other person or not. This can be hard to work out after it’s happened but both people would have a right to tell someone like the police about it if they felt they were forced into it.

If you’re having sex or thinking about it then it’s important that you both agree to what is happening. Getting and giving a definite ‘yes’ is one way to be sure. If somebody says ‘no’ through words or body language then this should be respected.

Also, just because somebody said ‘yes’ to one thing, like kissing, it doesn’t mean they’re agreeing to something else, such as oral sex. You can say ‘no’ at any time, even if you’ve already said ‘yes’ or if you’ve had sex with that person before.

It might be a good idea to talk about what happened with a trusted adult or get in touch with Brook for information and advice. Remember, you can talk to a ChildLine counsellor any time.

Take care,
Sam

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