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Hi there,
Thanks for your letter. Youre never doing anything wrong by wanting to get to know a teacher. Youre also doing exactly the right thing by talking about it when you feel that something isnt right.
It can be really natural to get crushes on lots of different people in your life, especially a teacher who you look up to. It sounds like you really admired this teacher and its understandable that you wouldve wanted to get to know him more. I can see that you had a good relationship with him in school and it might be good to think a little about what you most hope for in the future with him. Im worried to hear that you had been left feeling uncomfortable after messaging with him.
Text messages and especially emoticons can really easily be interpreted differently by different people. Sometimes it can be that the person getting the message will read it completely differently to the person who had written it.
It looks like the message from your teacher has been going round in your head for a while. When youre talking to an adult, it may be that what theyre saying isnt something they gave a lot of thought to, but your music teacher has a responsibility to make sure he isnt making you feel that way when hes talking to you. It takes a lot of courage to admit when a situation feels wrong. Remember that its okay to want to trust that instinct. I'm wondering what its been like for you being around this teacher since you got this message.
Part of a teachers role is helping to develop the children and young people they teach. In doing that it sounds like your teacher has gone a little too far in what he was saying to you. There could be lots of reasons why this happened, but how youre feeling is the most important thing. Part of a teachers role is to make sure that he doesnt go beyond the pupil and teacher relationship. This doesnt mean that he cant like you as a person but him sending messages outside of school isnt something thats always okay. It sounds like this may be something thats been going through your mind since you received that message.
Im wondering what it would be like if you were to show another trusted adult the message that your teacher had sent to you. Showing someone the message doesnt mean that youre trying to get anyone in trouble, but it would mean you're not alone in a situation which you feel is wrong.
Sometimes it can feel difficult asking an adult about something like this. Its important to remember though that youve not done anything wrong here, and that you never deserve to feel like a situation isnt right with a teacher no matter what the circumstances. Being able to get things out in the open might even help you to think about how you feel more and even help you to get support in letting your teacher understand how youre feeling.
No matter whats happening you can always talk to ChildLine about what things have been like for you. You can contact us any time by either using the online 1-2-1 chats, by emailing or by calling for free on 0800 1111.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.