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To Sam

Is being single the best choice?

Hi Sam,

So my friends are always telling me about their relationships with boys and about how they did this and that with them, and of course I am happy that my friends are in relationships, but I have a bit of a jealousy problem. See, I don't think boys really like me that much, it's always me who is single all the time. I'm not saying I want a relationship, because personally I don't think I'm ready, but I get jealous that my friends are so popular with boys whereas I don't even know what it's like to be in a relationship. Any advice that you could give me? Thank you:)

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Relationships grow at different times and for different people. It’s very natural to be thinking about relationships as you are growing up and to be hearing your friends talking about their feelings.

There is no right or wrong answer to whether being single is the best choice. It’s about doing what you feel is right at a time that feels right for you.

It can be hard to hear friends talking about their relationships if you’re single. There can be a feeling that you are getting left behind or that they know about things that you don’t. Don’t worry, though. Everybody experiences things at different times. It’s more important that it happens at the right time for you, with a person who cares about you and respects you.

Being in a relationship is not reserved for the popular people, although it may feel that way from time to time. Social media websites can also make it seem like everyone else is really popular, but you have to remember that people choose the highlights of what's happening in their lives to post online, so the reality isn't always as it seems.

It’s good to recognise when you aren’t at the right time in your life for a relationship. Forcing yourself will only put pressure on you to make choices you aren’t ready for.

Think carefully about the qualities that you do like in other people, and what things feel important to you. You should always be the person that you really are. Everybody is unique, and when the time is right, you want to find someone who likes you as you are.

Take care,

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