Ask Sam letter


To Sam

I'm in a wheelchair and fancy a boy

I'm in a wheelchair and I fancy this boy at school, I've asked out other boys before but they've all said no. I'm scared that this boy will say no.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your message. Lots of people feel scared to ask someone out so you are not alone in feeling this way. I can hear that the rejection you have felt in the past has left you feeling nervous about talking to this boy. Asking someone out can feel scary because being so honest with our feelings can leave us feeling embarrassed and vulnerable.

It’s important to not let your disability stand in the way of starting a new relationship. Everyone wants to give and receive love, as it’s an important part of what makes us human. Being in a wheelchair should not stop you from having new relationships, and should not be a reason for anyone to avoid getting into a relationship with you.

Your disability is only a small part of what makes you who you are, and there should be lots of other things about you that someone might be attracted to. It’s important to feel confident about your strengths as a person and not be defined by your disability. Think about what strengths you feel you have as an individual. Some young people find making a list of this kind of stuff can be helpful.

Many people with disabilities have relationships, and often face the same worries and problems that go with any relationship. It can take time to find someone who feels right because everyone is different. Everyone has different ideas and likes and dislikes. While it might feel that a lot of people have said no, perhaps you could think about things that haven’t worked in the past to see if there are any other ways of asking a boy out. Often good relationships come from friendships, so perhaps you could try to find things you have in common and build a good friendship first.

You could take a look at the relationships thread on the ChildLine message boards to see what other young people are saying about liking someone and asking them out. There will always be a ChildLine counsellor waiting if you want to talk this through some more. You can contact ChildLine on a 1-2-1 chat, by calling 0800 1111 or sending an email.

Take care

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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