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I'm 16 and he's 21

Basically the guy I really like has problem with the age gap between us and I think that's the barrier to stoping the relationship progressing, he thinks that Its werid to go out with someone with that's like 16 but I think that e just thinks that people my age aren't mature and he said the lowest age he would go is 18 but yet he is giving me signs that he feels the same almost , I work with him every Saturday and then he always come in to work on Sunday even though he doesn't have to, please could you just give me some advice on what to do , I'm fine with why age gap and have no problem excepting fact he is 5 years older then me, I feel happy when I'm with him and I really just a want him to see that age isn't a problem and it's just a number, please help !
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Sam

Hi there,

Relationships can be confusing for lots of reasons, and this can be more difficult to work out if there’s an age difference.

You said the guy you like thinks it’s weird to go out with someone who is 16. It sounds like you’ve spoken to him about the age difference, but it could be worth asking why he feels like this.

It’s not against the law to have a relationship with someone who is older or younger than you. But it is against the law for anyone over the age of 16 to have sex with anyone under the age of 16.

People over the age of 18 are legally able to do things like going to clubs, pubs and bars. This can sometimes mean they have different expectations from a relationship, like being able to go away for breaks or holidays, staying out later or having more money.

It could be that they have more experience and knowledge about themselves and what they need from a relationship. It might also be difficult for the older person to realise the younger person has boundaries at home, and needs time to complete homework or revision and that this is important.

There are lots of things to think about when you start a relationship. And you might only realise some things when you're in the relationship. But it’s really important that both people are genuinely interested in each other, have similar interests and ideas, feel equal and safe and respect each other. It’s also important to feel comfortable about telling your family and friends about the relationship, not feeling that it has to be hidden or kept secret.

All relationships are different, so you might want to think about the things I've said and if this changes how you feel. Once you work out what you want from the relationship, why not talk it through with him and see how he feels.

If you want to talk things through more, you can contact a counsellor who will listen and support you.

Take care,
Sam

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