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Holiday issue with my boyfriend

Dear Sam, ​ Help me. I am very sad. My mum kindly bought me and my boyfriend a holiday that cost her £500. At first my boyfriend was very happy and thankful, however the next day he said he didn't want to go with me and called me lots of names. Am I in an abusive relationship? I don't know what to do I am hurt.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

It can be very hurtful and confusing when someone we care about acts in an unexpected way. Being able to talk openly is one of the most important parts of any relationship. So if you feel like your boyfriend is upsetting you or being hurtful, it's important to make sure he knows how you feel.

If someone who is supposed to love and care for you is using that to put you down, hurt you physically or emotionally or to exploit your feelings in some way, then this is relationship abuse. Without knowing more about your relationship it's difficult for me to say, but an abusive relationship is sometimes hard to spot if you are the one who is in it.

Talking to someone else who knows both of you, like your mum, might help to put things into perspective and is good to get a second opinion. It could also help to talk to your boyfriend to find out the real reasons he is acting this way. This may be painful to hear, but sometimes it's better to know than to let things carry on as they are.

You have some difficult decisions to make either way, and so it's important to make sure you have the support you need. Remember that Childline is there for you whenever you need to talk.

Take care, 

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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