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Hi there,
Arguments with anybody can be really stressful but especially when its somebody you are in a relationship with. Its important that youre able to say what youre not comfortable with without it turning into an argument. If you cant do that, you may need to talk about why that is.
You should always feel respected and trust one another in a relationship. This involves listening and understanding how you both feel, and when you dont feel comfortable. When somebody isnt listening, or doing something that we dont want, this is controlling and disrespectful.
You always have the right to feel respected and safe in a relationship. And you never have to do anything you dont want to do. If something doesnt feel right, or if youre being put under pressure, this is wrong and its emotional abuse. It's never okay to touch somebody in a way that they do not want. This is called sexual abuse.
It may help to have a discussion and say exactly how it makes you feel and that you dont want to be touched. If this isnt respected, then it may be time to make a decision about how you want your relationship to be.
We cant always change or control the behaviour of others, we can only change and control how we respond and know that its okay to make tough choices that look after our own personal safety.
For a safe space to talk through experiences and feelings more you can talk to a counsellor who will always want to listen and support you. You could also think about asking an adult for help or getting support from other young people on our message boards.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
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