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Hi there
Its really good to hear from you and thanks for having the courage to write to me about this.
It sounds like others are trying to pressurise you into having sex and its unfair of them to do that. When they upset you by making fun, it's a kind of bullying and it's not ok. Your relationship with your boyfriend is a private matter and they dont have a right to know what happens between the two of you.
From what youve told me, having a sexual relationship doesnt feel right for you at this time and thats absolutely fine. Its such an important decision and I think you are sensible to consider it carefully. Not having sex until you want to doesnt mean you are a lightweight, it means you are someone who respects yourself and your body and wants to make positive choices.
I can hear that your boyfriend might feel ready for sex, but that shouldnt affect your thoughts about whether this is the right time for you. We are all different and will feel ready for new experiences at our own pace. Starting a sexual relationship should always be a joint decision. It might be a good idea to talk to your boyfriend some more about this so he fully understands how you feel. It is also important to talk, because when the time is right for you both, you need to be sure about who will take responsibility for contraception.
Well done for thinking this through and if you want to talk some more about it, then you can speak to a ChildLine counsellor for free, by ringing 0800 1111, or logging in for a 1-2-1 chat online, which works a bit like instant messenger.
The Explore section has some really useful information about sex and relationships and you might want to check that out. You might also want to look at the message boards, to read other young peoples questions and advice about sex.
Thanks again for your letter.
Take really good care.
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.