I'm a 13 turning 14 year old girl, and I've been dating this person for around a year and a half. They're the same age as me and we met in school before I became home schooled, however recently I've began to lose interest in texting them and their physical appearance.
Personally I think that how a person looks doesn't matter too much in a relationship, but I still sort of care about it to feel that attraction. Also whenever I text them I just don't feel that excitement as I did a year back.
The only thing is I’m a giant people easer and i feel horribly for the way I'm thinking about them. But I just want to feel the freedom as a teen to go out and have fun and do things however they are really anxious with going outside so we don't really do it much. Also since I live in a smaller area, I don't have any other friends since I'm queer and alternative, so I feel like breaking up with them will break off that relationship and make me feel even lonelier.
I still really care and love for them, but I just don't know whether that's romantic or platonic anymore. Both of our families know that we're close and I don't want them to hate me either. I also fear that if I leave them, they'll become depressed since they already struggle with it, I don't want to make it any worse as they've already said I'm the only person who they truly enjoy being around and who they think cares for them.
If you could give me some advice on what I should do that would be amazing.
Sam
Hi there,
It’s natural for feelings in a relationship to change over time. That can include feeling like you’re not as attracted to someone anymore or like you just want something different from life. It can feel hard to know whether it’s right to end a relationship or not, and it’s important to focus on what you truly want.
When you’re deciding what you want, it can help to think about what it would be like if you stayed in the relationship. Ending things might feel scary but staying with someone when you’re not happy or satisfied can feel even worse. It might help to imagine about what you’d most like to be doing and feeling in 6 months, and whether that would involve your relationship.
You should never feel trapped in a relationship because of how someone else is feeling. Your partner’s mental health is important, and it can help to remind yourself that you aren’t the only person who can support them. If you’re worried about how someone might react after a break-up, it can help to plan what support you both might need. Your family, a Childline counsellor, or an adult you trust can help you think about ways to do it.
It can take time to meet new people and find those you get on with, especially when you’re in a small area. Your family may be able to help you find groups for other home schooled young people or even support you to take part in new activities. Trying new things can be a great way to meet new people. Over time, you can find people you feel like you connect with.
Whether you end your relationship or not should always be your choice. It might be that you decide to stay, want to give it time, or that leaving is right for you. Whatever you decide though, you’ve always got the right to make that choice and do what is best for you.
Take care,
Sam
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