Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

It’s not wrong to have a crush on someone like a teacher. Sometimes we get crushes on lots of different people throughout our lives. Especially a teacher you might look up to. But it’s important to know that this could never go any further than being a fantasy.

You seem to know that a relationship between a teacher and a pupil is wrong, and you’re right about that. Your teacher holds a position of trust with young people and it would be against the law for him to have any kind of personal relationship with you or any of his students.

When someone has feelings for another person, but know inside that they cannot be with that person, this can be hard. What can attract us to someone is the positive qualities that person may have. And it does seem like you have a good idea of the characteristics that you like in someone. Maybe there are other people who also have those characteristics, when you are ready to start a relationship.

Sometimes it can help to share your feelings with someone you trust, as they could offer some support with how they coped with their crushes. You might find it helpful to have a look on our message boards or even post if you felt able to. Sometimes, talking to someone else can be a good way to get a different perspective on difficult thoughts and feelings.

You’ve done really well to get in touch. If you’d like to talk about this some more, you can always speak to one of our counsellors. You don't have to cope with these feelings alone.

Take care,
Sam