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To Sam

Confusing emotions

One of my not-so-close friends throughout school has recently got closer to me and we've been hanging out more. She'll come over and we'll play video games or chat for whole days sometimes, and I really feel like she's the first person to really want to get to know me and understand me; now i'm left wondering if any of the other people I know really want to be with me, or if what I feel for her is something romantic instead of just friendship. I'm really confused.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Having friends is a really great thing, especially when the friendship is going well and you feel cared for, understood and supported. It helps when you have things in common which you enjoy, like in your case playing video games and chatting.

It’s normal to have different types of friendships like friends who you have a close relationship with, and then friends and acquaintances who you don’t have such a close relationship with. You could find out if people want to be friends with you by talking about it with them or thinking about how you feel when you are with them.

You also wondered about your feelings for your best friend. Romantic feelings or fancying someone include feeling physically and sexually attracted to the other person. They sometimes start with two friends which then develop into something more than friendship. This can cause anxiety and worry about how having a crush on a friend might change the friendship.

Getting someone else’s opinion who knows you can help. But if you don’t feel comfortable with this, you might like to talk to a ChildLine counsellor who could help you explore your feelings a little more. Or you could check out the message boards to see how other people might be coping in a similar situation. You could post a message yourself and see what support you get.

Take care,

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You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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