Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Coming out

Ok i can admit i am a lasbian only because you dont know me but i cant be that obvious to people who do know me and i have a girlfriend but i dont know how to tell people.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for getting in touch.

From what you have told me it sounds as though you are feeling unsure how people who know you would react if you told them you are a lesbian. Everyone has the right to be treated equally whatever their sexuality. It should be your choice whether to let people know about your sexuality, and when to tell people, but it sounds like you also realise what a big step this can be. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to tell everyone at the same time. You might decide that you want to let some friends know before you speak to your family, or you might choose to tell someone in your family first. You can read more about this on our Sexual orientation page.

I’m wondering if you have spoken to your girlfriend about how you’re feeling. If she has already spoken to people about being gay she may understand your fears and be able to support you with deciding what you would like to do. Another way to get some support with this might be to look at the Sexuality message boards where young people have written about their experiences of coming out. This could help you think about ways of telling people close to you. If you wanted support from other young people about how you are feeling you could also post your own message on the boards.

It’s good that you were able to talk to me about this. Another site where you can read more advice about coming out is Young Stonewall.

If you wanted to talk more about this with someone you don’t know, you could speak to a ChildLine counsellor through a 1-2-1 chat online, by phoning free on 0800 1111 or by sending an email. You could think about talking to them about ways to tell other people.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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