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Boys

This boy is nearly 18 and I'm 13 we have been friends since I was about 8 and recently he has started to call me beautiful sexy and all that sort of stuff he keeps asking me personal questions it's making me feel uncomfortable I have asked him to stop but he won't he likes me and keeps wanting to meet me but I don't like him like that I just want to be friends but I don't want to hurt his feelings he did the same thing to my best friend I have never seen him like this he's in college and I'm in high school

pls help x

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Sam

Hi,

It’s not okay for this boy to behave in this way towards you. He is making sexual comments, asking personal questions and putting you under pressure to meet up with him - he shouldn't be doing this. This is called sexual harassment, which is a type of bullying in a sexual way. 

It’s good that you have told him to stop, but it's disappointing that he isn’t listening to you and has carried on. It’s important to keep giving him the message that what he is doing is not okay with you. Try not to laugh, smile or go along with the harassment or give him any reason to think that he can continue with it. It would also be a good idea to keep a record of what he says and does, where this happens and whether anybody saw what happened.  

You mentioned that he did the same thing to your best friend. You could ask your friend how they coped with the situation. It might be a good idea for your friend to also write down an account of what happened when he did it to her and to include who she told about it and how it came to stop.

The best way of getting this sexual harassment stopped is to report it to an adult you trust. This could be a family member or an adult at school. It would be okay for you and your friend to report it together, using your written records as evidence. It can be quite scary asking an adult for help and there is some advice on this page about asking an adult for help that you might find useful.

This is a tough situation to cope with and if you would like to talk more about it or about the way my response has left you feeling, you could talk to a counsellor at ChildLine who will listen and support you and help you explore the options to get it stopped in more detail.

Take care for now,
Sam

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