Hello,
Thinking about having your first relationship can feel like a big step for a lot of young people.
This sounds important to you. It can be tough not having something you want, especially if other people around you might have boyfriends or girlfriends. Remember that there is nothing wrong with not having a girlfriend right now. This often happens at different times for different people.
It's great that you're starting to think about what you might want a relationship to look like. You are absolutely right that both people should feel they can be themselves in any relationship.
Good relationships can come from having built a good friendship first. Friendships give both people the chance to really get to know each other. A lot of people will stay as just friends, but if both of them do decide they want more then there can be the chance for a relationship to develop.
It can be upsetting if one person wants a relationship and the other person just wants to stay friends. This doesnt mean there is anything wrong with either person, just that some people get on better as friends. There are probably people that you think make good friends, but that you wouldnt choose to be in a relationship with.
People with autism can develop friendships and relationships with other people, whether those people have autism or not. If your autism ever makes you feel worried when you meet new people, you might want to think about whether it would be helpful to say this to them. Most people usually appreciate someone being open and honest with them. I hope this helps. Good luck!
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.
