So, I've spent my life seeing different counsellors and CAMHS and basically they have all decided they don't know how to help me. Some have recommended seeing a psychiatrist or something.
It's clear talking doesn't help me much but I have no clue where to turn now. I can't go back to my doctor due to a broken trust issue that caused major problems in my family and I can't get hold of my counsellor. Meanwhile I am still cutting quite badly and having suicidal thoughts and struggling to sleep.
Can't tell mum, telling her before was the worst mistake of my life.. What else can I do?
Thankyou -M
Sam
Hello M,
Thank you for sending your letter to me, I can hear you feel really stuck at the moment with this. It sounds like in the past the support you have been given has not helped in the way you wanted. I appreciate how frustrating this can be but sometimes it can take a while to figure out what support will help us the most.
I am concerned to hear that you have been having suicidal thoughts and are cutting quite badly - it is really important that you look after your cuts. If you're ever concerned about bleeding that wont stop or is heavier than usual, you should seek immediate help by calling 999. If you ever feel that your suicidal feelings are getting stronger or that you might act on them it is really important to talk to someone, like a ChildLine counsellor who will help you explore your feelings and will never judge you. They understand that sometime things get so hard for some young people that they feel suicidal and they are always available to support and help you.
In your letter you said that talking does not seem to be helping much at the moment but I would encourage you to come and have a chat with one of the counsellors at ChildLine. You mentioned about having trust issues and I want to let you know that ChildLine will keep things confidential that other people might not - you might like to find out more about our confidentiality policy.
Towards the end of the message you asked what you could do about the situation - sometimes when people are finding it difficult to know what to do next it can help to think about how you would like things to be different (compared to how they are now). Once you have identified the areas of your life that you want to change you can then start to think about ways of possibly making these changes happen.
You can contact the counsellors at ChildLine by phoning 0800 1111, requesting a 1-2-1 chat or sending them an e-mail.
Take care,
Sam
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