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Siblings

Hi,
Okay well I'm going to try and get to the point so please bear with me. My brother who is around 16 years old soon has been getting angry reallyeasily. For example when me and my brother are washing up or something he strats starts yelling and moaning about his life.
Sometimes he comes really close and starts whispering/shouting in my hear that he's going to hurt himself. When he does so i don't know how to react, sometimes i acrt lifeless and no caring hoping he'll stop but he doesn't.
Today he actually said he is going to commit suicide at 16 on his b-day as he doesn't think he has any skills and he wont live. I thinks no body cares about him and he doesn't care about others but i still love him, eithen when he does sometimes actually hurt me.
I have 2 younger sisters and i'm afraid of the worst for them, for me, for my brother and our family. So much has happened (like divorce and basically a kind of death sentence for my G-ma as she has a brain tumour) and i get realy stressed from school work and outta activities and also family.
Family being my brother, my mother who recently moved, my dad and his girlfriend and  her daughter who stays with us. My brother also gets real annoyed with her.
I think i should tell somebody but my brother i know will then hate me. I don't want him to have to go to any special place but i don't want him to die harm hinself or others ... I would honestlly do anything for him.
He does kinda have friends but they're the wrong crowd, one of them who he claims is his best friend hurts my brother. I act like whatever in front of my friends but honestly i hate that boy. My brothers 'best friend' i hate him.
I honestly dunno what to do, tell somebody or deal with it myself, i thought that maybe i can try to get him to enjoy his life or get him on a better track. Right now he and i are on important educational/ working stage in ourr lives(GCSE ect) and i don't want my brother to ruin it for himself. But maybe if i spend my time helping him then my future will be put in danger. But whatever happens i want to help him, so you will please try to help me?
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Thanks for your message. It’s really good that you’re talking about this and I can see that you’re wondering what to do about your brother. You’ve mentioned some really important things that have been happening and I’m concerned that your brother is hurting you. Nobody has the right to hurt you and if you ever feel in danger, you have the right to get help. It’s not OK for your brother’s best friend to be hurting your brother either and I can tell that you’re feeling really angry about that happening.  Some people find talking to others about what is going on for them can help - perhaps this might work for you and your brother.

It sounds as though your brother is going through a lot.  When somebody you care about is having a difficult time, it can be tough to see it happening and it can leave you feeling unsure about what would help. Your brother seems to have been talking about hurting himself and killing himself and from what you’ve explained, he has told you that he is going to kill himself on his 16th birthday. It is important to get help for him and you don’t have to try to cope with all of this on your own. You said that your brother might hate you for telling others and I can tell that this is making it feel harder to tell someone. You’re not responsible for stopping your brother from hurting himself. If you are worried that he isn’t safe, it’s important for him to get help as soon as possible so that other people can help to look after him and support you too.

I noticed that you try and act like you don’t care when your brother talks to you about how he is planning to hurt himself. When somebody is going through a difficult time, it can be helpful for them to know that somebody is there for them. If you feel able to listen to your brother and tell him that you care about him, it might be good for him to hear that. If you feel as though it’d be too much for you to hear more about his feelings, perhaps you could suggest that he could talk to a ChildLine counsellor or to a trusted adult. There's more information on the website about supporting somebody who’s feeling suicidal.

You explained that your family has been going through a lot, like divorce and finding out that your grandma has a brain tumour and I’m wondering what support you feel you’ve been getting at this difficult time. You can talk to ChildLine at any time. You might also like to think about keeping a diary to let some of your feelings out. It might also be helpful if you think about letting school know what you’re going through. It sounds as though your GCSEs mean a lot to you and you sound worried that the things happening at home could affect your studies. If somebody at school is aware of what’s happening, they might be able to offer you some more support. 

I’m really glad that you’ve written. I’m sure that there are lots of young people reading this who might be in similar situations and your message will have helped them to know that they are not alone and that they can get help.

Thanks for writing. 

Take care,

Sam.

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