Hi Sam. I'm in a bit of a dilemma. So basically I'm going through a tough time , I'm especially worried about my Dad who suffers from a mental illness. I have my mum at home but I see a councillor at school and when I talk about things and my dad it makes me feel good to get it off my chest and tell someone how i feel. But the thing is she is a bit judgmental. She always focuses on how my Dad is feeling and not my feelings, and she talks about him, but she has never even met him so she doesn't really know much. Some of the things that she says make me feel like she is judging him and it makes me really uncomfortable. The school recommends that I go and see her regularly, and I do need someone to talk to but I don't think she is right for me. Do you have any advice?
Sam
Hi there,
It can be hard when we feel family members are being judged by anyone, especially someone who is meant to be helping us. Finding someone to talk to who can make us feel comfortable to share our issues with can really make a difference.
Counselling sessions are for you to talk about the things that concern you and should not focus on others. Your feelings are important and should be the main focus of each session.
Sometimes it can be hard to connect with a counsellor and this may be one of those times. It is okay to tell her how you feel and give her a chance to repair the relationship between you. Most counsellors will openly accept this feedback and try to make things work for you.
If you find you still cannot work with her then try talking to the school about how you feel. You have the right to get things off your chest and to feel heard. Not getting on well with this counsellor doesnt mean you should stop counselling entirely.
One way that may make you feel comfortable is to talk to your doctor about counselling, as most surgeries have a counsellor for patients to use. Your doctor can refer you for talking therapy that is free on the NHS, although this will only be available if the doctor thinks it will help.
Often talking to people of the same age can help. The ChildLine message boards have posts from people who are experiencing similar things. You may even want to discuss your feelings with a ChildLine counsellor.
Take care, Sam
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