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Asker

To Sam

School

Hiya,
last year I had an issue with a girl in my class so now I play with another class and they have ditched me. At first they were really nice but know they are starting to be really snappy and leaving me out. My parents get involved then I end up falling out with them!! I hardly get on with any teachers at my school so I will not tell them and the ones I would tell I feel a bit embarrassed. I think the girls are doing it as they  know that they can be horrible and I will not do anything because if this friendship breaks down I will have no one. I'm starting to feel really lonely 
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Thanks for your letter. Finding a way to get help with a problem takes courage so well done for getting in touch. 

School sounds like a tough place to be right now, especially when friendships are uncertain. It’s not surprising that you sometimes feel lonely. I know you’d really like to have fun with others and school should feel like a safe place.

Being left out is a type of bullying which is not okay. You’ve been going along with this situation because you’re not sure what will happen if you don’t. That sounds really difficult for you. True friends are not horrible and don’t leave people out. You deserve for things to be much better than this.

It’s also not fair when it’s starting to create problems between you and your parents.

Trying to make new friends can feel scary but with a bit of help it can happen, even if it takes a little time. One of the things you could do is find out if there are any school groups you’d be interested in joining. When we share the same interest as another person it can sometimes help in building a relationship with them.

It sounds like you’ve thought about telling a teacher but you feel embarrassed. The adults at school have a duty of care to young people. This means they should support you when something upsets you and they need to put a stop to bullying.

Have a look at our information on bullying and friendships. There’s also the ChildLine message boards which is a place where young people share their experiences. The message boards could really help you as young people often tell each other how they coped in similar situations.

You might also find some helpful information on www.beatbullying.org. This website offers online support from young people who volunteer to help other young people who are experiencing bullying.

I think it would really help you to speak to a ChildLine counsellor. You can talk more about what's going on for you and get some help thinking about who might be a good, trusted adult you can talk to for help. ChildLine counsellors would not tell you what to do but can help you find a way forward that feels right for you. You can call for free on 0800 1111, or you could log in for a 1-2-1 chat.

I really hope your situation improves and thanks again for writing in. Letters just like this one help other young people through similar situations.

Take Care,

Sam

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