Ask Sam letter


To Sam


I'm fifteen ( a few months until i'm 16 ) and a family friend is 24. I had a crush on him so I used to drop slight hints. One day no one was in the flat and he decided to massage my back which was fine then things progressed a bit and before I knew I had been sexually assaulted. I feel so confused - i found out he had done it to one of my friends as well who is 13 but worse than what he did to me. I genuinely don't know what to do. I feel sick. I seen him a few days after and he has acted like nothing had happened. Although he has been messaging me through facebook asking if im okay. I spoke to my friend and she doesn't want anyone to be involved  which is the same as me so i'm torn between two stones. What can I do
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for getting in touch with me. It’s really brave of you to share this with me as it sounds like a very upsetting time for you.

I can hear you are feeling confused about what happened. It's very normal to feel confused after being sexually assaulted. It's also completely natural to feel things like guilt, blame and denial. It's important to remember that what happened was not your fault and you were in no way to blame.

You mentioned that he has been messaging you on Facebook and the best way to stop this would be deleting and blocking him so he can no longer send you messages. From what you have told me, he is making you feel very uncomfortable by doing this. By deleting him, he will not be able to contact you. You may want to take screenshots of the things he has been saying to you through Facebook chat before you delete him – just in case you need to show those to someone later on.

It may help to look at our page about rape and sexual assault. You may also find support on our message boards from other young people who have been through sexual assault.

I am also really concerned to hear that this has also happened to your 13 year old friend. What this man is doing is wrong. From what you have said it sounds like both of you are feeling scared about telling anyone about what has happened.

I understand it can be scary and a difficult thing to do, but it is okay to talk about what he did to you. I know it feels difficult because it’s a very private thing, but adults are there to support you and help you through times like this.

We have some advice about talking to an adult you trust. You could also talk to a ChildLine counsellor. You can talk to us free on 0800 1111, by signing in for a 1-2-1 chat, or by sending an email. If you got in touch you would get through to a counsellor who will listen to you and help you think about your options.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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