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To Sam

it's confusing...

Hi sam!

I'm 15 in y11 and i'm really worried about my best friend!

I'm a prefect at school and I have witnessed my best friend getting bullied by some other people... so i tried to stick up for him... but i think it was the wrong idea and now everything is going really bad... the people who is bullying him is still bullying him... but worse and now they've gone for me too.... whenever they see me with him they take the mick out of me and follow me and my best mate... if i tell a teacher i will probably get told off for trying to stick up for him and now i don't know what to do because i'm worrying about him and also trying to get up to date with all my homework...

What should I do?

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Thank you for your message.

You’ve done the right thing by asking for advice on this. I can hear that you’re really trying to be a good friend at the moment and that’s something to be proud of. I can also hear that it’s getting harder to do this, because it’s making the bullies target you too. Supporting a friend is important but you shouldn’t have to do this alone.

You’ve mentioned feeling unsure about telling a teacher, but unless the staff know what’s happening, they can’t help you both. Every school should have an anti-bullying policy, which describes how they will make sure that school is in an environment that is safe and comfortable for all young people.

Perhaps you could try to encourage your friend to speak to a teacher that they like. If they are nervous, you could also think about going with them and explain what’s been happening to you as well. You were really brave to try and help your friend by sticking up for them and I can imagine it’s really frustrating to feel like this has made the situation worse. It seems to me like you were definitely doing the right thing by trying to stop the bullies, so I would be really disappointed if you did get told off for stepping in. Bullying is wrong and should be stopped, and it is the bullies that are in the wrong, not you and your friend.

You could also think about speaking to your parents or carer about what’s happening to you at school. They may be able to help you talk to your teacher about this and offer you some support and advice.

There is some useful information about what to do about bullying in the Explore section. Perhaps you and your friend could both have a look at it? There’s also lots of discussions about bullying on the message boards. The message boards are a great place to read stories from other young people in similar situations and get some more advice. Another useful website about bullying is Kidscape.

If you’d like to discuss things in more detail, you’re welcome to send ChildLine an email, log on for a 1-2-1 chat with a counsellor or call ChildLine’s free helpline on 0800 1111.

I hope this helps.

Take care,

Sam

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