Ask Sam letter


To Sam

I want to move out of my mums house, permanently

Hi Sam,

i just wanted to ask you a couple of questions. I'm 15 and me and my mum have a very bad physically abusive relationship and I spoke to one of the 1 2 1 councillors and they gave me the number for social services.

The only thing is, would my mum get locked up for abusing me and what would happen to my sister? Would she be able to see her mum again??

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Firstly thanks very much for your letter. I’m really glad you decided to write to me. I’m glad you spoke to one of the counsellors too. It sounds like you are at a point where you are really trying to get some help and support.

It's really difficult to say for sure what would happen if you spoke to social services but its likely they would want to talk in person to you, your sister, and your mum. This would be to see what things are like for you at home and to get everyone’s side of the story. They need to get a full picture so they can make a decision. It's the job of the social services to make sure young people are safe at home. This is their priority. 

The social worker might think that you need to live somewhere else if it’s too unsafe with your mum. On the other hand they might want to first try getting your mum some support to help her stop abusing you. Whatever they decide, it will be what they feel is safest for you and your sister. I’m afraid I can’t tell you what the social worker will decide is best to do.

If you do have to live somewhere else they would make a decision on whether or not you and your sister both go and if you could still see your mum. Sometimes if young people have to go into care or go and live somewhere else they can still see their parents. Sometimes they have to see their parents with someone else present. It really depends on exactly what’s happened.

I hope that makes sense, I wish I could just give you a very clear answer about what will happen if you do contact them because I expect that would make your decision easier. There’s a page about Physical abuse in the Explore section and you can always keep talking to us. Our counsellors understand it’s a big decision to make and no one is going to pressure you into it.

Take care,

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