heyy um i just need to know are my school allowed to ban me from changing anything about myself due to gender fluidity, so i'm stuck being a girl when all i really want to be is a boy??
Sam
Hi there,
Being able to express your gender when youre physically different can feel really difficult at times. It can be especially difficult at school. It may be hard to know what youre allowed to do and what youre not.
A young person going through gender reassignment has the right to not be discriminated against. However this doesnt necessarily give you the same protection.
The school has the right to decide what you can and cant wear. But that doesnt mean that your school will ban you from changing things about yourself. It can mean that they have some control over what you are allowed to do though.
Not being able to express your gender in school can be really difficult. You could think about what might help people support and understand what it is you want to do. Being able to state what you want calmly, clearly and confidently is a really important part of helping people to understand what you need. Remember, your school is there to support you.
Schools wont always let you do everything. But this is because of reasons completely unrelated to your gender. When youre worried about them saying no, it can be good to think about a back-up plan. Think about who might be able to support you.
Our page on assertiveness has some really good ideas about expressing your needs. When youre thinking about how to explain to them what you need, think about different ways of explaining what being gender-fluid is like for you. And tell them what would be most different if you were able to express your gender identity.
For many young people coming out about their gender identity can be a really difficult first step. Its important to remember that you dont have to be alone.
Think about how can support you. You could write a letter to that person to practise. Or you could even try coming out in the mirror. If you dont feel like theres anyone you can trust, you can talk to ChildLine. Talking to a counsellor at ChildLine can help you to think about what youd most want to say to the school, and can support you no matter what you decide is best.
Take care, Sam
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