Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

Emotional

Hi Sam

Sorry to bother you, I know im not really a child anymore (I'm 16) Im just not sure who else to turn to..

School is awful, nobody likes me everybody is mean and my coping mechanism is crying, when i cry i get the piss taken out of me for my red eyes and my puffy lips. I dont mean to get so upset, i do when people arent nice.

Im in my last year of GCSE's and my mum has said that they can move me school, but that wont help, it'll just make me feel alienated, my dad isnt around anymore & i dont want to burden my mum with this issue as she works six days a week and is very tired on Sunday and sleeps nearly all day.

I dont know what to do.

Please help.

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi,

Thank you for your letter. You are always more than welcome to talk to us at the age of 16. Despite the name, ChildLine is not just for children. Most people we talk to are over the age of 12, and we can speak to young people right the way up until their 19th Birthday!

I’m so sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time in school at the moment. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. It’s not okay for people to be so mean to you. It’s very natural to cry, especially when people are being unkind and hurting your feelings. It seems particularly unfair that people are even mocking the fact that you’ve been crying.

Is there anyone at school you could turn to for support? What about a teacher or youth worker? Your school has a responsibility to make sure that you are safe and that includes being safe from being treated badly by your classmates. You’ve told me that you are in your last year of GCSEs and this is often a stressful time for people anyway. You’ve talked a bit to your mum but it sounds like you’re not comfortable with her suggestion of moving to a different school.

Bullying can really knock down your self-esteem, even if you are a really confident person. It’s important to remind yourself of the positive things about you. People who are bullying will say things because they want to hurt you or to get a laugh. That doesn’t mean the things they say are true. You could take a look at our building confidence page for some top tips on how to remind yourself what a great person you really are.

It seems like there is a lot of other things going on for you at the moment, besides school. You mentioned your dad not being around and your mum being really busy. Having a lot to deal with at once can make it harder to cope with difficult situations. When we are sad about one thing, it can be hard to be strong when other things go wrong.

You sound like a really resilient and smart young person. You are trying to cope as best as you can and you are thinking about your mum’s feelings too. But your feelings are just as important and you deserve to keep getting the support you need. Do you think you could maybe write your mum a letter letting her know how you are feeling? Even if it’s just to get it off your chest and so you know that your mum understands what’s going on for you. It might be worth a try.

Remember, you don’t have to go through any of this all on your own. Childline is here for you too and if you ever want to talk you can always get in touch with one of the counsellors.

Take care,

Sam

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