Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

dirty pic problem

well i was in a relationship with a girl over the internet and she was i think 18 not a pedophile as she lived in a different country she sent me pictures ... normal ones that ended up to wat i thought to be her breasts ... she asked if she could have a pic of my genitals so i did as it was kind of an exchange but ... i later found out hers were fake pics and now shes holding my picture against me threataning to post it on 2 major websites of the game we met on ... i dnt know wat to do as its driving me mad and im getting really depressed on this issue plz help :( i want to know wat action i can take
Ask Sam

Sam

Hello there,

Thank you for your letter.

I think you have done really well to write to me about what has happened. From what you have told me, it seems it has left you feeling worried and threatened that your private pictures could be posted onto some websites without your permission or agreement.

When we meet someone new who we like, it is perfectly natural to want to trust in what they tell us. Often people we meet online can be very convincing in what they say about themselves. I would like to reassure you that it’s not your fault that someone has treated you in this way.

It sounds perfectly understandable that you might feel upset and depressed by what this girl is telling you she might do. It can feel very scary when someone turns out to be different to what they have led us to believe. It is not ok for anyone to threaten you about anything ever and I think you have been very brave to ask for help with this.

ChildLine takes bullying and threatening behaviour online very seriously. It might be helpful for you to look in the Explore section at the pages on cyber bullying and sexting, as they describe very similar situations to the one that you are experiencing. The sexting page talks about how to get indecent images of yourself removed if they are posted on the internet.

You said the the girl who is threatening you is 18, which makes her an adult. You haven’t said how old you are yourself, but if you are a young person, you can report your concerns to CEOP who will investigate any reports of someone abusing you online. If you don’t feel like you want to do that yet, it might still be worth considering keeping copies of all online communication with this person. This may be useful in the future if you do decide to take further action.

You might also like to look at CEOP’s site for young people Think U Know. It has some helpful suggestions and advice on keeping yourself safe when chatting and communicating with new people online through games, chatrooms and social networking sites.

Finally, you might want to talk with one of our ChildLine counsellors by calling for free on 0800 1111 or by using 1-2-1 chat. A ChildLine counsellor can offer you support by giving you a confidential safe space to explore how you are feeling about your experience and think about what you might like to happen next.

Take care,

Sam

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