Ask Sam letter


To Sam

bullying and crushes

Hi I just turned 12 and I have aspergers. I have been bullied all my life. I have stopped caring now so that isn't the problem, but my friend has just been dumped by a girl that I have a crush on.. I think it is a crush anyway.i am not sure. I don't know if I should see if she feels the same, because I don't want everyone to find it I can talk to my brother but don't want to for some reason. I don't know where else to ask.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

When you’re bullied for a long time, it can start to feel like a normal part of everyday life. But that doesn’t mean that it’s okay. I can hear that you’ve stopped caring about the bullying. It’s very wrong of anybody to bully you. You deserve respect and help with making the bullying stop.

It could help to tell someone about the bullying. Perhaps you could think about which people in your life you trust and have a think about whether you’d like to let them know about the bullying.

From what you told me, you’re trying to work out whether the girl you have a crush on might feel the same way about you. It can be hard to work that out a person’s feelings without speaking to them about it. But if this is a girl you know well and someone you spend time with, it could help to have a conversation about things you have in common to get to know each other better. This will help you to be more sure of your feelings for her as well as getting an idea about whether she likes you too.

If it seems like both you and the girl like each other, it could also be a good idea to check out how your friend feels. How does he feel about being dumped by her? How would your friend feel about something happening between you and the girl.

You mentioned that you have Asperger’s, which is a form of autism. I’m not sure how your Asperger’s affects you because each person who has it is unique and is affected in different ways. But if you feel you’d like some more support with your condition, you can look at the National Autistic Society’s website.

I’m really glad that you felt able to write to me about it. If you’d like to talk about these things (or any other worries you have) some more, you can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor

I hope that you get the support you need.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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