Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

Not knowing what to do

Recently my school went on a 4 day trip with lots of activities like rock climbing , abseiling,raft building and others but on the last day we had a disco. A lots of the boys were asking the girls to the disco and one boy who I really like asked me if I wanted to go. He asked one of the teachers to ask me as I think he was a bit shy doing it. So I said yes and felt super happy. When I got to the disco lots of people kept coming up to me and asking me if I was going out with this boy or if I was at the disco with this boy. When I had enough of people coming up to me. I decided to go back to dorm and the boy finally got to talk to me without everyone else there so he chummed me up there and he was really nice. At that point I felt like screaming I'm the happiest person alive ( I didn't ) and apparently when he got back to the disco he was really happy and smiley. The next day we were leaving everyone was say saying that he wanted to sit next to me on the coach going home but I was like I'm sitting next to my friend. I went to see him after we got back that same day and I worked out that he thought I was going out with him. I would love to go out with him but I'm only 12 and in primary 7 though a lot of people in my year do go out. Now I just don't know what to do and I don't know if I should talk to my mum or talk to him .
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Thanks for your message.

Taking trips away with school can be really exciting as you experience new things and build new relationships with people. During puberty it’s natural to start developing different feelings for people although it can sometimes feel confusing.

It might be a time when you start to think about having a boyfriend or girlfriend. You could have some questions about your sexual or gender identity or you might be struggling with some of the physical changes puberty brings. No matter how old you are, being in a relationship can be a big step and you don’t have to do anything before you’re ready.

Having someone you trust to talk to about all of these things can make it feel easier to cope. Chatting with your friends can be a way to feel like you're not alone with your thoughts and experiences. Some people might prefer to talk to an adult in their lives like a parent or a teacher who will have experienced puberty already. The ChildLine counsellors are always there to listen and support you to think about what's best.

It could be important to remember that everyone goes through puberty in their lives. It is a very individual experience yet there are common changes or experiences that lots of people will have. Lots of young people have shared their experiences of puberty on the message boards so it might feel useful to have a look around there.

Take care,
Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter