Bullying
Bullying can happen to anyone at any age. It might involve someone pushing you, hitting you, teasing you, talking about you or calling you names. No one has the right to hurt you or make you feel bad, and if you are being bullied you don't have to put up with it, you can talk to someone about it.
What is bullying?
Bullying can mean many different things.
These are some ways children and young people have described bullying:
- being called names
- being teased
- being pushed or pulled about
- having money and other possessions taken or messed about with
- having rumours spread about you
- being ignored and left out
- being hit, kicked or physically hurt in any way
- being threatened or intimidated
Bullying can also be part of other forms of abuse, including neglect, emotional, physical and sexual abuse.
If you are being bullied in person or online, then you might think that it's your fault.
It isn't.
No-one has the right to bully you. If you speak out about it, there are people who care - they will listen to you and help you.
There's this gang at school. They picked on me all the time. At first it was just name calling but then they started pushing me. They'd wait for me to come out of class and then take my lunch money. I tried fighting back but it didn't work. They were bigger than me and I'd just get a kicking.
They said if I told anyone they'd kill me. I didn't want to bother my Mum with this - she'd just get worried. I didn't know what to do.
I started skiving. I'd just hang out in town to avoid them. But they still found me and beat me up. I couldn't go back home 'cos Mum would see.
I hated my life. I hated how I was treated. I didn't want to hide it anymore. I knew about ChildLine and I called them on my mobile.
They were cool. They listened to me and they really cared. I spoke to them every day for a month. They said that I should go to my teacher. I couldn't do it; I was dead scared they'd find out. The counsellor said that they'd contact her for me if I wanted, so I let them.
The school helped sort out my problems. I still call ChildLine but it's better now. I'm enjoying school again.
I'm too scared to go to school - what should I do?
No-one has the right to stop you from going to school. Your school has a duty to protect you for bullying and keep you safe. Try taking a quiet moment to talk to someone you trust and tell them about the problem. That could be a teacher or someone else you feel comfortable talking to. They can get in touch with your school and work out a way to help you.
If I do what they want, will they stop bullying me?
If someone's bullying you, then going along with it will just let them know that what they're doing is working, and they will keep doing it. Try to talk to someone who can help to make it stop.
How can I protect myself from being bullied?
The best way to protect yourself is to tell someone so that you can get some help. If you try to fight back, you might make the situation worse or get into trouble yourself.
Here are some other ideas about how you can deal with bullying. Think about your situation, and what options might be best for you.
- Don’t ignore bullying – it won’t go away on its own and it may get worse.
- Tell someone you trust – such as a teacher, parent or friend.
- Remember – it’s not your fault. No one deserves to be bullied.
Here are some other things you might want to think about:
- Keep a record – and save any nasty texts or emails that you have been sent.
- If possible try to stay away from the bullies or stay with a group when you don't feel safe.
- Ask your mates to look out for you.
- Try not to fight back – you could get into trouble or get hurt.
- Check your school’s anti-bullying policy. This will tell you what your school should do about bullying.
My teacher is bullying me, what can I do?
Your teachers have a duty to look after you. If they or any other adult working in the school is being mean to you, this is not fair. You have a right not to be made to feel stupid, be called names or punished unfairly. Talk to another teacher who you trust, perhaps your form teacher, and tell them what is happening.
Find out more about dealing with problems at school.
I’m being bullied, is it my fault?
People who bully others often try and make the person feel as if it's their fault. It's not. No-one has the right to bully you.
I think sometimes I can be a bully, what can I do?
You have the choice to bully others or not to. It can be hard if everyone else is doing it and you would feel left out if you don’t join in. It takes courage to step back from bullying. Bullying causes lots of misery for people, more than you might see.
If you find yourself bullying other people ask for help from someone you trust or call us. We won’t judge you and you can talk to us about anything. If you can find other ways to feel respected you will find it easier to stop bullying others.
If I talk to ChildLine, who will find out?
No-one else will know what you have said to your ChildLine counsellor unless you want them to. Your ChildLine counsellor will only take action if they feel that it's an emergency and that you are in a life threatening situation.
If your school is involved with the NSPCC’s CHIPs programme for schools, you will be able to talk to someone at school directly about the bullying, or any other problem you have. There may also be peer to peer counselling and support where other pupils can help you. Find out more about our work in schools, including how to get you school involved.
If you are being bullied or are worried about anything to do with bullying, you can call us and we can help.
Extra links
bullying.co.uk (formerly Bullying Online) provides practical information and advice to young people and their parents through the website and by email. Visit www.bullying.co.uk.
kidscape helps children and young people prevent bullying and child abuse. Visit www.kidscape.org.uk.
antibullyingnetwork supports anti-bullying work in schools and it's website provides information about bullying and how it can be tackled. Visit www.antibullying.net.
bullybusters is an Anti Bullying Helpline that was launched at the beginning of September to provide support for victims of bullying and their families. Visit www.bullybusters.org.uk.