Friends can be there to enjoy the best times, and they can help us when we're feeling down. But sometimes friendships have problems. It can be hard to know what to do, but we've got some advice to help.
1-2-1 counsellor chat isn't working at the moment
We're really sorry but 1-2-1 counsellor chat isn't available right now. Why not try emailing a counsellor instead? Or if you need to speak to someone right away, please call 0800 1111.
Friends are different from people like family or classmates, because you choose who you're friends with, and they choose you.
Sometimes we need someone to have fun with. But now and again we need a friend to support us through a tough time. Friends should never:
Sometimes friends fall out. Usually they make up again soon, but arguments can sometimes be more serious. If this has happened to you, read our advice below.
Friends should:
REAL
friends
just get me
It's okay to not get on with some people – we can't always be friends with everyone we meet.
Sometimes you might not like someone when you first meet them. But you might find that as time goes on you start to like them more. Try not to judge someone before getting to know them. If you give them a chance, you might just become friends.
We can't choose how we feel, but we can choose how we act. So if there's someone in your group who you don't like, it's important to make sure you're not nasty to them. You can get along with someone and hang out in the same group as them without being really close friends.
they are
supposed to be
my
friends
If your friend has made you feel bad:
If you've made a friend feel bad:
If you need advice, you can talk to us.
Remember:
It's not okay for someone to make you feel bad.
If your friend has said something about how you look or where you come from, or pressured you into doing something you didn't want to, it could be a good idea to tell someone what's happened.
Sometimes in a group of friends it can be hard to tell what's 'just a joke' or 'banter' and what's bullying. Are the jokes always aimed at you, or do different people in the group get teased sometimes too?
If the jokes are always about you personally (for example, about your appearance, intelligence, sexuality, race or religion) then this is not okay. This could be bullying or emotional abuse and your friends shouldn't be doing it.
Talk to a friend you trust
Try talking to one of your friends when you're alone with them - they might act differently on their own. If there's someone you trust in your group you could explain how the bullying or jokes make you feel. You could ask them to not join in if it happens again.
Get more advice on how to cope with bullying.
Romantic relationships sometimes start with two people being friends. If you get along well and have fun together, sometimes this naturally grows into something more than friendship.
However, it's normal to worry that they don't feel the same way, or that telling them might change your friendship.
Why not try:
It can be really confusing when friendships change. And it can be hard to understand how we feel.
If a friend tells you they fancy you, it can be a big shock. It's natural to worry that this might change the friendship. But there are things that can help:
Sometimes things in life change which can mean we don't get to see our friends as much as we used to. You might be moving to a different school or college, or your family might be moving house. This could mean you don't get to see your friends as much.
Think about ways you can stay in touch with your friends. You could:
When things change, remember that this can also be a good opportunity to make new friends.
Think about your close friends. At one point, you weren't friends with them and you had to get to know them for the first time. If you start a new school, there will be people there who you don't know – but you might become really good friends with them.
