Self-harm coping techniques

Self-harm can feel like a way of coping with something difficult. But we can help you find other ways to cope.
Trigger warning: this page contains information about self-harm which may bring up difficult feelings.

On this page

Dealing with your emotions
Helping a friend who self-harms

COPINg with self-harm

When you’re feeling emotions that make you want to self-harm, it’s good to find other ways of coping.

We can give you some ideas. And if you’re not sure, you could have a look at the techniques on this page and try the ones which sound like they could work for you. Remember, you can always talk to one of our counsellors for help and support.

Why not try...

Drawing a butterfly where you'd normally hurt yourself. The aim is to keep the butterfly alive. If you self-harm you ‘kill’ the butterfly. You can also let it fade over time, so that the butterfly can fly away. But the most important thing is to not self-harm.

Things that could help:

listening to music
talking to friends or family
writing down or drawing how you feel
exercise.

What to do if you're feeling:

Alone or isolated

Try: talking to someone, writing down how you feel, chatting on our message boards to other young people struggling with self-harm, walking the dog, wrapping a blanket around yourself, meeting up with a friend, or doing some exercise.

Angry

Try: punching something like a pillow, doing some exercise, running, screwing up paper and throwing it, snapping twigs, squeezing clay, hitting a rolled up newspaper on a door frame, screaming, crying, or having a cold shower.

You're not good enough

Try: listening to music, having a bath, burning incense, phoning a friend, writing, painting, or listing good things about yourself.

Get more ideas for building your self-esteem.

Like you can’t control things

Try: organising something, cleaning or tidying, solving a puzzle, playing a Childline game, setting a target time (for example, saying you won’t harm for 15 minutes, and then if you can last, try another 15 minutes).

Numb or like a ‘zombie’

Try: focusing on something like breathing, being around people who make you feel good, craft activities, making a photo collage, playing an instrument, baking, playing computer games, playing sport or exercising.

Talk to other young people on the message boards about hobbies.

Like you want to escape

Try: having a hot or cold shower, drawing on your body with red pen, massaging lotion into the places you would normally harm, squeezing ice cubes or biting on lemon for the “shock factor,” or painting nails.

You can talk to a Childline counsellor any time you feel out of control or that you might self-harm.

SO
many thoughts
to cope
with

Get support coping with self-harm

How can I help a friend who self-harms?

Finding out that someone you care about is self-harming can leave you feeling worried, confused and a bit helpless. But many young people who self-harm get help by talking to someone. There are things you can do to help:

remember that it may have been really difficult for them to have told you about self-harming, so try not to judge them
listen to how they feel—sometimes just being there for your friend may be what they need
encourage them to get support with how they're feeling
look after yourself and make sure that you get support as well.

Remember that Childline counsellors are here to listen whenever you or your friend needs to talk.

Coping with Self-Harm ft. Luke Cutforth

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Making sense of your feelings

struggling
with all these
thoughts

Try sharing how you feel with other people going through similar things