4 things to remember
- Talk to someone who'll listen to how you feel – it can really help.
- However you're feeling is okay, cry if you feel like it.
- Look after yourself – remember to eat well and get plenty of rest.
- Things can get easier over time.
The death of someone you care about can be very difficult. These feelings are sometimes called grief. It's natural to have strong reactions when someone you love or are close to dies.
You might feel:
Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to feel better straight away. These feelings will change over time. It's important to try to accept how you feel.
You might also be upset about the death of an animal or pet. Or when someone's still alive but you're not able to see or talk to them anymore. This can hurt as much as a relative or friend dying.
4 things to remember
It's important to remember that feeling upset, scared or worried is normal. Lots of people feel this way after someone has died, but it's also okay if you don't.
If someone dies suddenly, you might feel shocked or anxious. You might find your emotions very tough to deal with but there are things that can help you cope.
It can be difficult knowing who to talk to if you’re worried about upsetting someone or if you feel like they won’t understand. If someone else is grieving too you might not want to bother them. But sharing your feelings can really help. And you only need to tell people what you feel comfortable sharing. You could try talking to:
If you’re finding things difficult, it might be a good idea to visit your doctor. They may be able to give you some support with getting through the first few months as you adjust to such a big change.
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Someone dying can affect you no matter how it happens. But when someone takes their own life it can feel even more difficult to cope. You might be:
3 ways to help you cope:
It can be really difficult if you find out that one of your online friends has died. You might feel very upset but find it hard to explain this to others. Some people might think you shouldn’t feel so sad because you didn’t know this person in the ‘real’ world.
But losing an online friend, especially one that you felt close to, can bring about the same feelings of loss and grief as losing a friend you know in person.
If this happens, you might find it helpful to speak to other people who were also online friends with them. You could also speak to an adult you trust about how you feel. Childline counsellors are here to listen to you and support you.
Speak to an adult you trust about helping you to find 3 small stones – a smooth stone, a rough stone and a gemstone.
When you have all 3, follow these steps:
Keep all of the stones together somewhere safe. When you feel ready you could show the stones to an adult you trust to share the different memories or tell a Childline counsellor about them.
Talking about what each of the stones represent can help you feel able to hold the stones in one hand together. It can remind you that even with the difficult memories you can still have the ordinary and special memories too.
It can take time to find the words and to begin to understand what has happened. But Childline is here to talk to you any time.
It can be hard for you when a family member or friend is finding it difficult to cope with the death of someone.
You can try:
Find out more about supporting a friend.
There are lots of ways someone might feel like they've lost someone or something, even when nobody's died. You might:
Losing someone or something can bring up many of the same feelings as when someone has died. Especially if you can't talk to the person you've lost.