4 things to remember
- Talk to someone who'll listen to how you feel – it can really help.
- However you're feeling is okay, cry if you feel like it.
- Look after yourself – remember to eat well and get plenty of rest.
- Things can get easier over time.
The death of someone you care about can be very difficult. These feelings are sometimes called grief. It's natural to have strong reactions when someone you love or are close to dies.
You might feel:
Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to feel better straight away. These feelings will change over time. It's important to try to accept how you feel.
You might also be upset about the death of an animal or pet. Or when someone's still alive but you're not able to see or talk to them anymore. This can hurt as much as a relative or friend dying.
4 things to remember
It's important to remember that feeling upset, scared or worried is normal. Lots of people feel this way after someone has died, but it's also okay if you don't.
If someone dies suddenly, you might feel shocked or anxious. You might find your emotions very tough to deal with but there are things that can help you cope.
Sometimes people die very unexpectedly. You might find that, as well as the pain of losing someone you love, you’re also dealing with severe shock, anxiety or fear.
If the person you love ended their own life, it can be a very confusing and frightening time for you. If they died as a result of an accident or an attack, you might find that you’re also processing the shock of what happened for a while.
It’s important to get support if you’re dealing with this kind of bereavement. A Childline counsellor is always there to listen and can provide advice about who to contact if you need further support. You can always call Childline on 0800 1111 to speak to someone who cares.
However you’re feeling, you don't have to cope on your own. You can get support by talking to people. You could try talking to:
If you’re finding things difficult, it might be a good idea to visit your doctor. They may be able to give you some support with getting through the first few months as you adjust to such a big change.
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Someone dying can affect you no matter how it happens. But when someone takes their own life it can feel even more difficult to cope. You might be:
3 ways to help you cope:
It can be really difficult if you find out that one of your online friends has died. You might feel very upset but find it hard to explain this to others. Some people might think you shouldn’t feel so sad because you didn’t know this person in the ‘real’ world.
But losing an online friend, especially one that you felt close to, can bring about the same feelings of loss and grief as losing a friend you know in person.
If this happens, you might find it helpful to speak to other people who were also online friends with them. You could also speak to an adult you trust about how you feel. Childline counsellors are here to listen to you and support you.
Speak to an adult you trust about helping you to find 3 small stones – a smooth stone, a rough stone and a gemstone.
When you have all 3, follow these steps:
Keep all of the stones together somewhere safe. When you feel ready you could show the stones to an adult you trust to share the different memories or tell a Childline counsellor about them.
Talking about what each of the stones represent can help you feel able to hold the stones in one hand together. It can remind you that even with the difficult memories you can still have the ordinary and special memories too.
It can take time to find the words and to begin to understand what has happened. But Childline is here to talk to you any time.
It can be hard for you when a family member or friend is finding it difficult to cope with the death of someone.
You can try:
Sometimes things at home can change when someone dies. Normal routines may be different. There may be a different adult who looks after you. If you have a younger brother or sister, you may have to support them too.
Remember that you can't be responsible for making them feel better. It can sometimes be hard to help someone – so it's important that you get support for yourself too. You could do this by talking to a Childline counsellor or asking an adult for help.
Other sites that can help: