Asking an adult for help

Writing a letter or leaving a note can be a great way to start a conversation with someone you trust. Especially if telling someone in person seems difficult.

If you're thinking about sending a letter or message, it can help to:

• decide who you'll give it to and when
• remember you don't need to say everything if you don't want to
• think about whether the letter might need to be shared, especially if someone's worried about your safety
• be careful about saving it on a shared device
• plan what you'd like to do next.

If you're not sure how to start your letter, try downloading our template.

Writing things down isn't always easy. If you're not sure how or you're worried, you can always talk to a Childline counsellor for advice.

Different professionals (like doctors and teachers) have different rules about keeping something they’ve been told private or confidential. Sometimes they have to pass on certain things, and sometimes it's down to their own personal decision.

If you’re worried about confidentiality and what can be kept private, you can ask someone about it before you tell them anything. Most professionals have a responsibility to tell you their policy.

If they’re worried about your safety, some adults have to tell someone else. This is so they can help you in the best way.

If you’re not sure about talking to Childline, you can read our confidentiality promise.

Sometimes it's hard to know how to bring up a difficult issue, or you might be worried about how someone will react.

Try starting by talking about something else that mentions the issue. It could be anything, like Facebook, TV or a book. Or even something at school.

You could also try saying that you're asking for a friend. Sometimes it's easier to talk when you're pretending you aren't talking about yourself. If the person you speak to is supportive, you could tell them that it's really about you.

Young people have told us:

• "I found it hard to tell my dad I have anorexia, so I said: 'What do you think about that person on Hollyoaks who is anorexic?'"
• "It was too difficult to say to my grandma that my mum hits me, so I said: 'Today at school we talked about what domestic violence is."
• "I first told my mum that I feel low all the time by asking her if she had seen a show on TV about depression."