I dont know what to do

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    AlertSkatingFalcon3771 / May 21 2022 20.39

    Hi, Im 13 (14 this year) and I lost my dad when I was 9. I ended up finding him collapsed and called the ambulance which many see as heroic but they don't understand how it still affects me. Tomorrow (22nd May) is the anniversary of his death and I can't seem to pull myself together. Even without it being the anniversary I always suffer with "trauma responses" (my teacher thinks so) by not being able to show sympathy for close friends or family but can for others. As well as low self esteem and mood. But near the anniversary it just got worse, I feel worse. I dont know what to do because i hate this but theres not alot I can do to feel somewhat okay.

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    ArtisticTurningGoose2256 / May 22 2022 21.23

    I think i know how you feel. My brother passed away just over a week ago and his funeral is tommorow. (23 may) I just feel sick.

    Its already been a tough time ( and im assuming its the same for you ) where ive had awful self esteem as well. It feels like nobody understands.

    Ive been struggling to show sympathy to anybody except for his mum and my dad because it feels like theyre the only people who are hurt more than me and NOBODY else feels or even understands how it is to feel this way.

    I hope youre okay, even though i dont know you. But i also know that words like mine dont help. Youre probably sick of hearing ”youre so strong” and stuff like that, because i am too. And everybody saying that the best thing to do is talk about it, but you cant because you know that they cant even comprehend your feelings.

    The best thing to do is to feel it. Feel the sadness. I made the mistake fo bottling everything up and as soon as it came out, it came out BAD. So just feel the feelings, and know you WILL have bad days where its all you can think about, but you will also have days where you dont bat an eye.

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