Lost my twin brother

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  1. Mute
    honeybeeeee / May 11 2022 15.53

    hi everyone, my name is adam and a few months ago i lost my twin brother to suicide.

    we were identical and now my parents cant even look at me, my dad just yells at me to go away and my mum wont acknowledge that i exist. he was my best friend and we did everything together and he's gone. they only put "beloved son" on his gravestone and wouldn't let me put brother on there even though he was. i have three other brothers, two older and one younger, and theyre all feeling awful, but my parents are still acknowledging they exist and not me. i understand that me and my brother looked exactly alike, we even shared a wardrobe, but now he's gone and they won't accept the fact that im hurting too. its like they don't even care about me.

    it hurts a lot that they dont seem to care that im grieving too, but i guess i understand. people at school havent been very nice about it either though, they keep making jokes that im his ghost instead of being a real person and making fun of the way he died. obviously in front of teachers everyones really respectful but i can hear them whispering about it behind my back. it sucks.

    i just miss him a lot and i cant really talk to my family about it since i know theyre hurting too. i guess i dont really know what the point of this is but i just wanted to talk about it a bit. thanks for reading.

  2. Artist
    honeybeeeee / May 11 2022 15.53

    hi everyone, my name is adam and a few months ago i lost my twin brother to suicide.

    we were identical and now my parents cant even look at me, my dad just yells at me to go away and my mum wont acknowledge that i exist. he was my best friend and we did everything together and he's gone. they only put "beloved son" on his gravestone and wouldn't let me put brother on there even though he was. i have three other brothers, two older and one younger, and theyre all feeling awful, but my parents are still acknowledging they exist and not me. i understand that me and my brother looked exactly alike, we even shared a wardrobe, but now he's gone and they won't accept the fact that im hurting too. its like they don't even care about me.

    it hurts a lot that they dont seem to care that im grieving too, but i guess i understand. people at school havent been very nice about it either though, they keep making jokes that im his ghost instead of being a real person and making fun of the way he died. obviously in front of teachers everyones really respectful but i can hear them whispering about it behind my back. it sucks.

    i just miss him a lot and i cant really talk to my family about it since i know theyre hurting too. i guess i dont really know what the point of this is but i just wanted to talk about it a bit. thanks for reading.

    ItsLeviOsanotLeviosA / May 12 2022 18.56

    Im so so sorry that youre going through all of this- youre really strong.

    everyone grieves differently but you deserve to grieve the way you want and get the support that you deserve.

    Id recommend talking to teachers at school because schools often have links to counselling/bereavement services. My best friend passed away from suicide last year and my school were able to refer me to a bereavement counselling service so hopefully your school can help you with that. You can also access some online services which may be beneficial for now as it can take a while to get counsellor.

    Id also recommend telling the teachers about what people are saying- people can be so horrible and I cant imagine how that must feel.

    also you could maybe get your own 'gravestone' for your brother. Something small that you can keep in your room like a plaque that you can personalise to what YOU want.

    please please please talk to people and dont bottle it all up. youre amazing and so strong and your brother would be so proud of you.

    i hope this helps :)

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