The desire to stop being.

Reading this content might be upsetting and trigger difficult feelings and emotions if you have experienced these events or feelings in the past

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  1. Headphones
    MusicalSittingEagle1443 / Mar 26 2022 2.24

    (Warning: hints of s*icide)

    Head foggy

    In a haze

    Colours fading all around

    I want to collapse to the ground

    No. Keep walking. Keep walking.

    Eyes teary

    It’s all blurred

    Floor spinning all around

    Where? Where can I find stable ground?

    Look right

    Look left

    People there yet I still feel alone


    Fighting a monster on my own

    I need it to stop.

    It hurts to breathe

    To move

    To talk

    Can’t walk anymore

    Curl up in a ball

    Ground still shaking, so are my hands

    Something’s lurking behind me



    ”Do it.”

    “It’s easy.”

    ”You deserve it anyway.”

    “Nothing matters anyway.”

    ”In the end your life will amount to nothing.”




    Nothing in sight

    Nothing to help


    I’m nothing

    Until you make me something.

    I can’t reach your hand

    Please reach further

    You can’t see how much I’m trying

    Why can’t you see it

    It’s everywhere

    The shaking ground

    The flurry of colours

    Something lurking in the dark




    For me to be alone




    To strike




    For you to let go

    But you can’t let go of something

    If you never got a grip on it

    Take my… hand…


    You left.

    This is how I used to feel.

    I hated it.

    I was too socially anxious to keep friendships lasting for a long time.

    I was so scared of what could happen that I ignored what was really happening, and in the end that caused my worries to become reality.

    Don’t make the same mistake. People care.

  2. Loser
    Joyful123 / Mar 26 2022 10.07

    Hey. I can relate to this poem so much!

    I hope you're okay. I'm here for you if you need to vent or just wanna chat.

    Stay safe and have an amazing day!!


  3. Headphones
    MusicalSittingEagle1443 / Mar 27 2022 23.28

    Hi Lily, I’m alright. I hope you’re doing great too.

    What’s happening is really hard to explain. This was my only way of putting what I used to go through (and occasionally still go through) into words. Whenever I start to panic or get too scared, this sort of thing happens, and it always hurts. It’s always so scary, and during those few minutes it feels like everything is falling apart and I can’t piece it back together.

    I never expect it to happen. One moment I’m ok but then sometimes a situation can get to me and the next moment I’m curled up on the floor with my hands covering my ears.

    I don’t know what it is but I want it to stop.

    What about you? Are you doing ok?



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