I’m sorry (TW Hinted s*icidal thoughts)

Reading this content might be upsetting and trigger difficult feelings and emotions if you have experienced these events or feelings in the past

Go to Poetry

Show
  1. Wallflower
    AlpacaInATrenchcoat / Feb 28 2022 0.22

    I’m sorry for everything

    that I have caused.

    I’m sorry for the confusion

    and dissapointment I’ve caused.

    I’m not the perfect child

    because everytime I try

    I make everything worse

    It’s a miracle I’ve survived.

    I don’t know how to handle

    all the thoughts inside.

    The demons that are lurking

    and begging me to die.

    Convincing me that the whole world will end,

    or a monster’s out to get me

    even though in the end

    I know it isn’t real

    I know it isn’t there

    but try telling all your senses

    that it isn’t really there.

    I’m sorry that I can’t explain this to anyone

    in real life

    but it’s because I‘m too scared

    that you’ll send me away instead.

    Seriously,

    why do you still love me

    after all that I am?

    I’m the biggest dissapointment you possibly could’ve had.

    You’re just stuck with me

    a curse and a burden.

    I’m sorry that we’ll be lucky if I pass a test again.

    I’m sorry that I have all these voices in my head.

    I’m sorry for all the distress I have caused

    but I guess I’ll never really make up for that at all.

    I’m sorry if you wake up

    and I’ve gone away.

    I don’t know if I can make it

    through another day.

    All the stress

    and the shadows

    never leaving me alone,

    but there’s still the one person in the world

    I promised I wouldn’t leave

    and I’ll never break my promise to them

    because of all they’ve done for me.

    I’m sorry for all these terrible thoughts I have.

    I wish I could stop them

    but maybe they’ll come to pass.

  2. Spiralling
    BookLeopard / Mar 11 2022 16.53

    Hi.

    Sometimes you can really feel unwanted, but you're probably giving yourself a lot less credit than you deserve. You shouldn't be sorry for things out of your control. A lot of these things seem to be happening to you, not things that you yourself has caused.

    Show yourself more compassion and be proud of everything you've been through and everything you are going through now. Its not easy, and i dont think anyone can truly understand someone else's suffering, even if they've had similar experiences. You know more than your friends and family what you're going through, and you should be proud of yourself for doing it. Your are really strong and should acknowledge that. You dont need to be perfect, Be you, and dont feel bad for being you.

    Feel free to talk to me about anything. Are you feeling any better recently?

    ~Leopard

    I love writing stories with you by the way :)

  3. Contemplator
    AlpacaInATrenchcoat / Feb 28 2022 0.22

    I’m sorry for everything

    that I have caused.

    I’m sorry for the confusion

    and dissapointment I’ve caused.

    I’m not the perfect child

    because everytime I try

    I make everything worse

    It’s a miracle I’ve survived.

    I don’t know how to handle

    all the thoughts inside.

    The demons that are lurking

    and begging me to die.

    Convincing me that the whole world will end,

    or a monster’s out to get me

    even though in the end

    I know it isn’t real

    I know it isn’t there

    but try telling all your senses

    that it isn’t really there.

    I’m sorry that I can’t explain this to anyone

    in real life

    but it’s because I‘m too scared

    that you’ll send me away instead.

    Seriously,

    why do you still love me

    after all that I am?

    I’m the biggest dissapointment you possibly could’ve had.

    You’re just stuck with me

    a curse and a burden.

    I’m sorry that we’ll be lucky if I pass a test again.

    I’m sorry that I have all these voices in my head.

    I’m sorry for all the distress I have caused

    but I guess I’ll never really make up for that at all.

    I’m sorry if you wake up

    and I’ve gone away.

    I don’t know if I can make it

    through another day.

    All the stress

    and the shadows

    never leaving me alone,

    but there’s still the one person in the world

    I promised I wouldn’t leave

    and I’ll never break my promise to them

    because of all they’ve done for me.

    I’m sorry for all these terrible thoughts I have.

    I wish I could stop them

    but maybe they’ll come to pass.

    Flying-Lion / Mar 11 2022 17.55

    This poem shows how much pressure parents put on their children. (not all parents btw). I love reading what u post on here its quite interesting.

    Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it. - Kahlil Gibran

  4. Wallflower
    BookLeopard / Mar 11 2022 16.53

    Hi.

    Sometimes you can really feel unwanted, but you're probably giving yourself a lot less credit than you deserve. You shouldn't be sorry for things out of your control. A lot of these things seem to be happening to you, not things that you yourself has caused.

    Show yourself more compassion and be proud of everything you've been through and everything you are going through now. Its not easy, and i dont think anyone can truly understand someone else's suffering, even if they've had similar experiences. You know more than your friends and family what you're going through, and you should be proud of yourself for doing it. Your are really strong and should acknowledge that. You dont need to be perfect, Be you, and dont feel bad for being you.

    Feel free to talk to me about anything. Are you feeling any better recently?

    ~Leopard

    I love writing stories with you by the way :)

    AlpacaInATrenchcoat / Mar 25 2022 21.53

    Thank you. I read this soon after you posted this, and it made me cry (in a good way). Thank you.

    I’m not going to expalin exactly what’s happening with me due to it being so specific, as well as the fact it’s really serious, and certain parts of it are similar to my own trauma but much worse.

    I don’t remeber exactly what led to write this specific poem lol. All my poems are just vents. I was just feeling pretty sh*t by the looks of things lol.

    Things may get better from here as I don’t have exams anymore, but hey, we’ll see.

    Thank you so much, and I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner.

    -Jamie

  5. Wallflower
    Flying-Lion / Mar 11 2022 17.55

    This poem shows how much pressure parents put on their children. (not all parents btw). I love reading what u post on here its quite interesting.

    Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it. - Kahlil Gibran

    AlpacaInATrenchcoat / Mar 25 2022 21.54

    Thanks! -Jamie

  6. Spiralling
    AlpacaInATrenchcoat / Mar 25 2022 21.53

    Thank you. I read this soon after you posted this, and it made me cry (in a good way). Thank you.

    I’m not going to expalin exactly what’s happening with me due to it being so specific, as well as the fact it’s really serious, and certain parts of it are similar to my own trauma but much worse.

    I don’t remeber exactly what led to write this specific poem lol. All my poems are just vents. I was just feeling pretty sh*t by the looks of things lol.

    Things may get better from here as I don’t have exams anymore, but hey, we’ll see.

    Thank you so much, and I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner.

    -Jamie

    BookLeopard / Mar 26 2022 16.36

    Aww. :)

    Whatever's happening, i hope it does get better and that you get through it all. Are you getting any support?

    Yeah i also like venting through poetry. I mostly like metaphors, so i also like drawing them out.

    Don't worry about it. I sometimes take ages to reply and you probably had loads of messages because you're so active on the boards haha. Recently ive been on childline slightly more than usual as i havent been going to school and you seem to be everywhere. :)

    - Leopard

  7. Wallflower
    AlpacaInATrenchcoat / Mar 27 2022 23.29

    Yeah, I have a therapist again so that’s good.

    Oh I wish I could show you some of the absolutely demonic art I’ve created recently. I’ve found an art style which is incredibly good for vent art, and some of the stuff I’ve made with it is straight up creepy and I love it.

    Yeah, I’m kinda everywhere lol. That’s what happens when you have a lot of free time and not a lot of good coping mechanisms.I spend a lot of time on here because it’s really hard to be myself anywhere else, plus I like helping people out. Also I can just write about my stories on here and that’s always a good thing lol.

    I hope you’re okay!

    -Jamie

  8. Spiralling
    AlpacaInATrenchcoat / Mar 27 2022 23.29

    Yeah, I have a therapist again so that’s good.

    Oh I wish I could show you some of the absolutely demonic art I’ve created recently. I’ve found an art style which is incredibly good for vent art, and some of the stuff I’ve made with it is straight up creepy and I love it.

    Yeah, I’m kinda everywhere lol. That’s what happens when you have a lot of free time and not a lot of good coping mechanisms.I spend a lot of time on here because it’s really hard to be myself anywhere else, plus I like helping people out. Also I can just write about my stories on here and that’s always a good thing lol.

    I hope you’re okay!

    -Jamie

    BookLeopard / Mar 29 2022 13.41

    That's good. :) Are you comfortable talking to your therapist about guilt and different things?

    Im not actually good at art but i enjoy using it for doodling/drawing random things, and then also venting. Its kind of funny too, as i do it all in one book, so flipping through the pages you might see one really fun drawing of like, patterns or flowers or something, and the next is a really deep and upsetting drawing. Although im not sure how much another person would understand of my terrible drawings. I like using it though.

    Yeah you've mentioned free time for your characters as well. Technically i have a lot of time, yes, but i have things im supposed to be doing but im just not doing them. So i waste time instead and do pretty much nothing all day. So thats fun. You write a lot on your stories and its really fun to read about other people's stories. Incorrect quotes, characters, worlds. Its interesting to see how different people write and do their stories as well. I dont think 'do' is the right word but im not sure what the right word is.

    Thanks. Have things gotten better now, after exams?

    ~Leopard

Show

saying
exactly
how i feel

Talk to us about anything