For about a year now my brother(16) has been abusing me(18) sexually. We're both autistic, he's moderately verbal but knows what he's doing is bad. Because I'm older physically I feel like I'm not taken as seriously. But it is abuse, and it's abuse I can't get away from.
I can't wear skirts, shorts, mesh shirts, anything that shows my legs in any way or he will sexualise me. I stopped wearing them but he does it still and I had to hide my drawers in my room so he can't "use" those clothes. He does it to little kids too, I always have to watch for little girls wearing anything other than trousers and walk in between his view of them so he doesn't act inappropriately, and pinch him if he does. My parents don't get just how bad it is, especially my dad, so I have to stop him very secretly. It's horrible. I hate it I want him to stop but he won't stop and my dad calls me a bully if I stand up for myself. and my mum is too stressed to come to her about it and I hate it. I just. want to run away. But if I do he's going to hurt other kids instead. I'm a young carer for him but I don't want to be anymore. i wish i didn't have him anymore and I could grow up. i havent aged past 11 mentally and getting help is really hard because I don't know any of the things grown ups know but I probably can't go to kids help places because my physical age is too big now. the only places i think might be able to help is the young carers group and girls group I used to go to but I don't know how to get into those again. is there somewhere you can just walk in to get help without police? i just want to be safe but i feel like I don't know anything and im trapped here. i dont want to turn 19 and be trapped here forever. im scared.