safe place for CSA/sexual assault survivors:)

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  1. Supported
    LilSunflowerBoi / Dec 26 2021 21.56

    hey, my name is Mateo.

    for me, this has been a very difficult year, and i know christmas is hard for a lot of people.

    I wanted to give a safe space for anyone who has experienced sexual abuse/sexual assault to share their feelings with other people who would understand. I'm a survivor of sexual abuse and am currently in the process of stabilization so I can undergo EMDR therapy for my PTSD.

    This group is for ANYONE who's experienced sexual abuse. Regardless of if u have a diagnosis of PTSD, or if the abuse has been reported. i know what its like so i want to give people a space to go where they dont feel like no-one 'gets it'

    it is never your fault, and you are not alone. you are strong and so worthy. you are loved, and youll be okay.

    please do not post very explicit, detailed accounts of sexual abuse. this is not because it's anything to be ashamed of, simply as it may be triggering for others here. sharing your experiences is okay, but remember to put a content warning so that people know what they are reading.

    we can make a general overview of guidelines for sharing experiences if you guys think this would be helpful.

    one last thing:

    in this group there will be no victim blaming. no shame surrounding how old or young you were at the time of the assault(s). no bias based on gender. no shame for male victims of rape. and no blaming women and girls for being sexualised.

    lots of love,

    Mateo

  2. Contemplator
    LilSunflowerBoi / Dec 26 2021 21.56

    hey, my name is Mateo.

    for me, this has been a very difficult year, and i know christmas is hard for a lot of people.

    I wanted to give a safe space for anyone who has experienced sexual abuse/sexual assault to share their feelings with other people who would understand. I'm a survivor of sexual abuse and am currently in the process of stabilization so I can undergo EMDR therapy for my PTSD.

    This group is for ANYONE who's experienced sexual abuse. Regardless of if u have a diagnosis of PTSD, or if the abuse has been reported. i know what its like so i want to give people a space to go where they dont feel like no-one 'gets it'

    it is never your fault, and you are not alone. you are strong and so worthy. you are loved, and youll be okay.

    please do not post very explicit, detailed accounts of sexual abuse. this is not because it's anything to be ashamed of, simply as it may be triggering for others here. sharing your experiences is okay, but remember to put a content warning so that people know what they are reading.

    we can make a general overview of guidelines for sharing experiences if you guys think this would be helpful.

    one last thing:

    in this group there will be no victim blaming. no shame surrounding how old or young you were at the time of the assault(s). no bias based on gender. no shame for male victims of rape. and no blaming women and girls for being sexualised.

    lots of love,

    Mateo

    Flying-Lion / Dec 27 2021 10.44

    Hello there, I experienced sexual abuse before but since I am a‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ boy, I didn’t really tell anyone except on the message boards here. I dont know why but I did not suffer that much after that compared to most people after realising that they had been sexually abused. Or I recovered quickly from it.

    I dont see many boys experiencing sexual abuse and this leads to one problem - lack of support or people to less likely believe in your experience. I still remember it happening though and this is a bit awkward to mention, I played with my penis to cope - for about 15 days after my abuser left my life. My abuser was also a boye , he tried to use his sexual desire to justify him touching down there. Before my abuser touched me, I thought of him as a classmate in school whom I could trust, a friend even but no. I mean if you looked at his school photos, you would not think that he was an abuser. Just a kid like me.

    Thank you for making this. You are very kind and thoughtful to take the time out of your day to create a safe space and Im thankful to the Childline community for being supportive and accepting.

  3. Supported
    LilSunflowerBoi / Dec 27 2021 11.20

    hi there

    im really sorry you experienced this. it's not fair and it's not okay. I would always encourage people to speak up if its safe and if you feel ready, but its all on your own timeline. You don't have to share anything with anyone. noone is entitled to force you to report what happened.

    there are a lot of helpful resources for male survivors online, and if that's something you would like to have then you can do some research for which ones would best fit u or i could possibly podt some here.

    no matter how much or how little you felt it affected you, however you feel is completely valid and you are not to blame. it's never your fault. however you coped is fine, there is no judgement. your brain is processing what happened.

    hope you're ok :)

    -Mateo

  4. Childline Avatar
    LilSunflowerBoi / Dec 26 2021 21.56

    hey, my name is Mateo.

    for me, this has been a very difficult year, and i know christmas is hard for a lot of people.

    I wanted to give a safe space for anyone who has experienced sexual abuse/sexual assault to share their feelings with other people who would understand. I'm a survivor of sexual abuse and am currently in the process of stabilization so I can undergo EMDR therapy for my PTSD.

    This group is for ANYONE who's experienced sexual abuse. Regardless of if u have a diagnosis of PTSD, or if the abuse has been reported. i know what its like so i want to give people a space to go where they dont feel like no-one 'gets it'

    it is never your fault, and you are not alone. you are strong and so worthy. you are loved, and youll be okay.

    please do not post very explicit, detailed accounts of sexual abuse. this is not because it's anything to be ashamed of, simply as it may be triggering for others here. sharing your experiences is okay, but remember to put a content warning so that people know what they are reading.

    we can make a general overview of guidelines for sharing experiences if you guys think this would be helpful.

    one last thing:

    in this group there will be no victim blaming. no shame surrounding how old or young you were at the time of the assault(s). no bias based on gender. no shame for male victims of rape. and no blaming women and girls for being sexualised.

    lots of love,

    Mateo

    CarefulSharingTiger1298 / Feb 08 2022 23.05

    hi im Maggie (made up)

    there was this boy, he was my favourite person but in reality he was mentally abusive. He sexually assaulted me by grabbing my breast this isnt the first time that he has sexually assualted someone he gaslit me and made himself feel like a victim. I finally have cut contact but in PHSE he sits behind me and one time he was chasing me across the classroom because he likes seeing me scared. I have had alot of anxiety and im scared hes gonna do something else and something worse to me. Just the way he looks at me and the way he goes near me. im trying my best but its getting scarier. its too late to tell a teacher he sexually assaulted me thiugh because its been too long since it happened but he does keep pestering me.

  5. Supported
    CarefulSharingTiger1298 / Feb 08 2022 23.05

    hi im Maggie (made up)

    there was this boy, he was my favourite person but in reality he was mentally abusive. He sexually assaulted me by grabbing my breast this isnt the first time that he has sexually assualted someone he gaslit me and made himself feel like a victim. I finally have cut contact but in PHSE he sits behind me and one time he was chasing me across the classroom because he likes seeing me scared. I have had alot of anxiety and im scared hes gonna do something else and something worse to me. Just the way he looks at me and the way he goes near me. im trying my best but its getting scarier. its too late to tell a teacher he sexually assaulted me thiugh because its been too long since it happened but he does keep pestering me.

    LilSunflowerBoi / Mar 06 2022 16.25

    hello, sorry for not replying earlier . im really sorry this happened to you. its not okay and you don't deserve it. im glas you have cut contact. i would recommend reporting it but completely understand if that's difficult for you at this stage. if you have any trusted adult you feel you can talk to about this, I'd suggest trying to reach out for support. otherwise, there are plenty of resources online you can access.

    wishjng you all the best

    - M

  6. Prisoner
    SleepyActingZebra7587 / Mar 10 2022 23.32

    hey, i was sexually assaulted 2 years ago. i didnt even cry or suffer from it. But when everyone started talking about it, when my mum didnt talk to me about it or anyone, it made me feel small. I still have to put up with seeing him around every now and then. After it happened, loads of people accused me of lying or asked, but didnt really care. Most of my friends looked at me very differently and would apologise many times even if they lightly brushed past me. i feel i was treated way differently, but my behaviour has improved so much since then because i realised who was fake and who wasnt.

  7. Heart
    Zebramemberloveall / Mar 11 2022 20.51

    hi i am zephyr.

    i am genderfaun. to simply put it i am a trans man. i am also autistic so some people chnage thier opion of me just because of that fact

    i am in the process of prosocuting my dad for raping me hundreds of times and sexually, emotionally and physically abusing me when i used to see him. i stopped seeing him last june because he was the reason i attempted twice in three days. i am so glad i stopped seeing him. i only told someone in jan this year and the second person i told said it was my fault as i didnt do anything. the first time was i was 2. i told them and they went berserk. like how you dont have memory as a 2 year old. i remember him physically abusing my mum and i had to grow up so fast as i had to protect my mum and myself. i think this is why i am a agree. (age regression). i really want to prosocute the person who raped me in a public park after my best friend had just committed suicide. i hate that man. i really want help as i suspect i have ptsd. i also need bereavement councilling as i still think my best friend dying when i was there was my fault even though it was almost 5 years ago. when i ask for help people dont belive me. i am just trying not to die. this is so little of what bad things have happened in my life.

  8. Supported
    Zebramemberloveall / Mar 11 2022 20.51

    hi i am zephyr.

    i am genderfaun. to simply put it i am a trans man. i am also autistic so some people chnage thier opion of me just because of that fact

    i am in the process of prosocuting my dad for raping me hundreds of times and sexually, emotionally and physically abusing me when i used to see him. i stopped seeing him last june because he was the reason i attempted twice in three days. i am so glad i stopped seeing him. i only told someone in jan this year and the second person i told said it was my fault as i didnt do anything. the first time was i was 2. i told them and they went berserk. like how you dont have memory as a 2 year old. i remember him physically abusing my mum and i had to grow up so fast as i had to protect my mum and myself. i think this is why i am a agree. (age regression). i really want to prosocute the person who raped me in a public park after my best friend had just committed suicide. i hate that man. i really want help as i suspect i have ptsd. i also need bereavement councilling as i still think my best friend dying when i was there was my fault even though it was almost 5 years ago. when i ask for help people dont belive me. i am just trying not to die. this is so little of what bad things have happened in my life.

    LilSunflowerBoi / Apr 15 2022 0.34

    Hi. im so sorry that all this happened to you. I was also abused by my father. its a horrible thing to go through. and its a complete betrayal of trust. im so sorry you had to grow up so fast and tbat you had to be so strong when you should have been safe. Your friends death was not your fault. Don't blame yourself. You have nothing to feel guilty for. you deserved none of this. anyone who says you are to blame for abuse doesn't know shit. Don't let someone who hasnt been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces. You know your truth. people may doubt you. they may invalidate you. and it hurts. I know because i have lived it. But it does not change what happened. It does not change your truth, however painful it is.

    you are strong. and this is so hard, and you shoulsnt have to deal with it but there is hope. I hope you find healing in whatever way it comes to you.

    p.s im also a trans autistic dude

    -M

  9. Supported
    SleepyActingZebra7587 / Mar 10 2022 23.32

    hey, i was sexually assaulted 2 years ago. i didnt even cry or suffer from it. But when everyone started talking about it, when my mum didnt talk to me about it or anyone, it made me feel small. I still have to put up with seeing him around every now and then. After it happened, loads of people accused me of lying or asked, but didnt really care. Most of my friends looked at me very differently and would apologise many times even if they lightly brushed past me. i feel i was treated way differently, but my behaviour has improved so much since then because i realised who was fake and who wasnt.

    LilSunflowerBoi / Apr 15 2022 0.38

    hey. im so sorry that happened to you. im sorry for the unkind and inconsiderate reactions you received. You deserved support. to be validated and believed. I'm sorry that you didnt get that, especially from your mum. I know it's so difficult when people choose to invalidate your experience. Dont let other people's reactions negate how you feel. You don't need to hide your emotions just because others don't want to face them. however you heal from this is exactly how you should heal. No one who has not lived your life can judge you for that. Or tell you that youve lied. They can choose to deny it all they like but you know the truth. It is awful when we are not believed. but I believe you. you will find people who will take your pain seriously. and you will heal with time and care. and it will be hard but it will be worth it.

    -M

  10. Childline Avatar
    ProudWalkingFrog4254 / May 01 2022 16.35

    hi, i'm simon, i'm transmasc. i got sexually abused online on and off when i was about 9, until i was about 11. i went on a lot of roleplay and messaging boards and people who were much older than me messaged me and used me. i find myself blaming myself for the sexual abuse a lot of the time, because they made me want it. i was curious about sex like any young child and they took advantage of that. they convinced me that what we were doing was good and normal and fun so i willingly participated and i didn't realize how traumatic it was until after years of repression. i was so young, i was in no place to understand let alone give consent. to this day, nobody knows, because when it was happening, i didn't realize it was abuse, so i never told anyone. i would be full of anger and confusion and depression because of the abuse and i had no way to cope with it so i just forced myself to forget about it. i should never have been coerced into doing sexual things like that online. because it was many years ago, online, and because i never talked about it, i'm afraid people won't take it seriously, or believe i was really abused. it's hard talking about it. thank you for giving me the chance to be able to get this off my chest. it just sucks. i don't know what to do with my emotions.

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