Sexually abused by another boy

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  1. Nose dive
    BouncyReadingDeer9330 / Oct 22 2021 17.31

    I'm 17 year old boy. When I was maybe 7 or 8 years old I was sexually abused by another boy multiple times who was 10 or 11, now 20. For a long time I struggled with whether I was actually abused or not because he was a kid too and I agreed to it at the time not understanding what was really happening. I think I've come to the conclusion that I was abused though. I struggle with the thought of it everyday. I don't know if I should blame him now or not because he was only 10/11 years old, but at the same time, I knew right from wrong at that age and I never thought of doing anything like that.

    I really don't know. I'd like some opinions on that, and on what I should do in this situation given I still struggle with it now. It goes without saying there's no evidence of this ever happening so I can't really tell anyone because it would be my word against his, and my parents are still friends with his parents and it would cause a lot of issues I don't want to deal with.

  2. Contemplator
    BouncyReadingDeer9330 / Oct 22 2021 17.31

    I'm 17 year old boy. When I was maybe 7 or 8 years old I was sexually abused by another boy multiple times who was 10 or 11, now 20. For a long time I struggled with whether I was actually abused or not because he was a kid too and I agreed to it at the time not understanding what was really happening. I think I've come to the conclusion that I was abused though. I struggle with the thought of it everyday. I don't know if I should blame him now or not because he was only 10/11 years old, but at the same time, I knew right from wrong at that age and I never thought of doing anything like that.

    I really don't know. I'd like some opinions on that, and on what I should do in this situation given I still struggle with it now. It goes without saying there's no evidence of this ever happening so I can't really tell anyone because it would be my word against his, and my parents are still friends with his parents and it would cause a lot of issues I don't want to deal with.

    Silent-Night / Oct 22 2021 18.14

    You can get support from Childline if you want to from your Childline Locker.

    Im really sorry for what happened to you and it is not your fault. I was once sexually abused and I know how you feel. The feeling of wanting to forget that it even happened.

    What he did to you was rlly wrong and you need to be confident of who u are.

    Have a good day!

  3. Nose dive
    Silent-Night / Oct 22 2021 18.14

    You can get support from Childline if you want to from your Childline Locker.

    Im really sorry for what happened to you and it is not your fault. I was once sexually abused and I know how you feel. The feeling of wanting to forget that it even happened.

    What he did to you was rlly wrong and you need to be confident of who u are.

    Have a good day!

    BouncyReadingDeer9330 / Oct 23 2021 4.53

    Thank you for your reply.

    I'd say I'm generally fairly confident in myself. When I say I still struggle it's more that it ruined my interest in sex and things like that, and that alienated me from people I know who do it regularly which makes it harder to feel like a normal person. There's pressure for me as a male to chase girls and stuff like that and not doing so makes me look less of a man or something like that. Sex reminds me of that situation and brings back emotions of anger, saddness etc so I end up associating sex with these bad emotions/experiences, so I separate myself from it quite a bit. It made me question my sexuality a lot too, and I grew up around people who weren't very accepting which made me anxious. I'm pretty sure I'm straight now, but still.

    I know it wasn't my fault, but a major issue is that I haven't decided whether it was his fault either, being so young himself when he did it. It does feel strange to have been caused mental health issues by someone just to say that they aren't to blame. I want to blame him I just don't know if I should.

    I have a younger family member and he is 7 years old. I'd do anything to keep him safe, and at my age now thinking about something like that happening to him as it did to me at his age makes me so angry at the person who did it to me, yet there's nothing I can do about it. I'm just supposed to live with that I guess.

    I don't even expect you to read all of this, I'm just venting my problems here lmao

  4. Contemplator
    BouncyReadingDeer9330 / Oct 23 2021 4.53

    Thank you for your reply.

    I'd say I'm generally fairly confident in myself. When I say I still struggle it's more that it ruined my interest in sex and things like that, and that alienated me from people I know who do it regularly which makes it harder to feel like a normal person. There's pressure for me as a male to chase girls and stuff like that and not doing so makes me look less of a man or something like that. Sex reminds me of that situation and brings back emotions of anger, saddness etc so I end up associating sex with these bad emotions/experiences, so I separate myself from it quite a bit. It made me question my sexuality a lot too, and I grew up around people who weren't very accepting which made me anxious. I'm pretty sure I'm straight now, but still.

    I know it wasn't my fault, but a major issue is that I haven't decided whether it was his fault either, being so young himself when he did it. It does feel strange to have been caused mental health issues by someone just to say that they aren't to blame. I want to blame him I just don't know if I should.

    I have a younger family member and he is 7 years old. I'd do anything to keep him safe, and at my age now thinking about something like that happening to him as it did to me at his age makes me so angry at the person who did it to me, yet there's nothing I can do about it. I'm just supposed to live with that I guess.

    I don't even expect you to read all of this, I'm just venting my problems here lmao

    Silent-Night / Oct 23 2021 11.05

    When you call Childline on 0800 1111 you’ll get through to a counsellor, they’re there to listen and support you with anything you’d like to talk about.

    Note : I think you should contact Childline by phone or lookup "childline support" on google.

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