My anorexia is making me binge eat

  1. Fixer
    TheLonelyGirlXOX / Oct 04 2021 20.04

    Hey guys,

    I suffer with anorexia (But I feel like it's not serious enough because I still eat nearly everyday). But, I've realised that it's making me eat a lot more. For example, over the weekend, I kept eating packets of biscuits, and stuffing my face. And today, I've only had 1 meal and a few biscuits. Even though I have this thought saying that I'm skinny, I still feel fat. Everyone thinks I'm getting better because I'm still eating, but I'm not. I'm gradually getting worse. The bullying at school is making me want to eat less, or not at all, in a day.

    - Taylor xx :(

  2. Childline Avatar
    GracefulWalkingFrog4399 / Oct 06 2021 17.31

    Hello Taylor ,

    I have been to hospital many times because of my Anorexia Nervosa, and, although I have never binged, I can completely sympathise with the voices you must be hearing. I also have multiple other mental health conditions, including PTSD from bullying. Again, I understand.

    Firstly, if your eating disorder is making you feel bad, then NO ONE should be telling you that it is not serious enough, you eat too much or are not skinny enough. You should seek help from an adult you trust. From my experience, catching it early (something I wish I had done) definitely helps. People may be skeptical, but push for the help you most certainly need.

    Secondly, I am not a professional, but I have experienced “being “skinny” and feeling “fat”. I’m sure you are already aware this is body dysmorphia, but... yeah (it’s body dysmorphia).

    Thirdly, bullies are wrong. I don’t even need to know what they are saying, but they are wrong. You have been through so much, and I know that me telling you this may not make a difference, but you are a good person. You need food. And, I think that “mental state over target weight” is very true. I don’t care if you are overweight or underweight or just in the middle, eating disorders are dangerous things, and you should seek more help before things go to a place that you never anticipated.

    I have been in some dark places, but somehow, everyone will look after you, I won’t say it will all be OK because healing a relationship with food is one of the hardest things I have ever done. But, there is always a safety net somewhere.

    I may not have helped, but I hope I have comforted you in some way. Go and get that help. Masking your pain doesn’t make it go away. You need it.

    - Me


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