i'm so confused

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  1. Fixer
    ThreeBarLogos / Sep 26 2021 13.20

    hey! so uh. i'm currently going by the name sunny (online only), i'm afab and i'm cool with any pronouns.

    i've been back and forth questioning my sexuality since like 2017 and i'm getting kinda tired. at first i had settled on lesbian, went with that for a year or two, but then things happened and after extensive research i then thought i may be asexual biromantic. the asexual part i'm cool with, though i have no clue if i really am biromantic?? i know i am definitely attracted to girls, though i don't know how comfy i'd be in a relationship with a guy. i keep trying to imagine it but i only get mixed signals back and it's so frustrating. it kinda feels like if i were to enter a relationship with a guy, i'm suddenly "faking liking girls" and i'm "actually straight", even though i know that's not true, that's just what it feels like, yknow??

    also i feel like i may be attracted to like, pretty much every gender lmao. not just guys and girls, but genderfluid people, non-binary people, trans people, like i genuinely don't care about the person's gender and sometimes i don't even think about it, i'll have a crush on someone and think they're really cute or whatever and it's only after i start to like them that i notice their gender and i'm like "oh cool they're (gender)" lmao, is there a different word for that??

    and as if that wasn't confusing enough, recently i've been thinking i might be non-binary (either agender or genderfluid), still questioning it and won't go deep into that in this category aha, but now what do i do? i can't identify as lesbian if i'm agender, so what's the word for agender afab people who like girls? and uh, can non-binary people identify as bisexual/biromantic??

    sorry for the long post lol, any advice would be appreciated!

    - sunny

  2. Coolcat
    ShinyTextingCat3530 / Sep 26 2021 20.10

    Hi Sunny!

    First, I feel I should make it clear that you can identify as whatever you want and whatever makes you comfortable, or not identify as anything. I think everyone goes through the questioning stage before realising, and it's fine if you end up questioning forever.

    That being said, yes there is a word for being attracted to all genders (there are two actually): Pansexual/romantic and Omnisexual/romantic. From my understanding, the difference tends to be that omni people have more of a preference (like liking all genders but preferring girls) whereas pan people describe themselves as more "gender-blind", having little to no preference.

    Lastly, you can identify as an agender lesbian. The term lesbian actually refers to a non-man who likes non-men specifically. And yes, non-binary people can identify and bi (which actually means just "multiple genders", not necessarily two. Confusing, right?)

    Hope this helped and good luck finding yourself!

    -Jessi (they/them)

  3. Childline Avatar
    ThreeBarLogos / Sep 26 2021 13.20

    hey! so uh. i'm currently going by the name sunny (online only), i'm afab and i'm cool with any pronouns.

    i've been back and forth questioning my sexuality since like 2017 and i'm getting kinda tired. at first i had settled on lesbian, went with that for a year or two, but then things happened and after extensive research i then thought i may be asexual biromantic. the asexual part i'm cool with, though i have no clue if i really am biromantic?? i know i am definitely attracted to girls, though i don't know how comfy i'd be in a relationship with a guy. i keep trying to imagine it but i only get mixed signals back and it's so frustrating. it kinda feels like if i were to enter a relationship with a guy, i'm suddenly "faking liking girls" and i'm "actually straight", even though i know that's not true, that's just what it feels like, yknow??

    also i feel like i may be attracted to like, pretty much every gender lmao. not just guys and girls, but genderfluid people, non-binary people, trans people, like i genuinely don't care about the person's gender and sometimes i don't even think about it, i'll have a crush on someone and think they're really cute or whatever and it's only after i start to like them that i notice their gender and i'm like "oh cool they're (gender)" lmao, is there a different word for that??

    and as if that wasn't confusing enough, recently i've been thinking i might be non-binary (either agender or genderfluid), still questioning it and won't go deep into that in this category aha, but now what do i do? i can't identify as lesbian if i'm agender, so what's the word for agender afab people who like girls? and uh, can non-binary people identify as bisexual/biromantic??

    sorry for the long post lol, any advice would be appreciated!

    - sunny

    kitkat9785 / Sep 29 2021 8.07

    hi there, i just wanted to let you know that you absolutely can be nonbinary/genderfluid or agender and be lesbian as the more modern and inclusive definition is non men liking non men. this can be a bit hard to figure out and not all people agree on this but if that’s who you are then that’s fine!

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