Self Esteem/Insecurites

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    AmazingYawningZebra9831 / Sep 07 2021 9.15

    I base my life of my looks, If im not pleased then I'll feel horrible for the rest of the day, if I feel pleased with my looks i'll be the opposite. i have 4a hair I think or 3c but it just stays curly, it doesn't go straight curly? if that makes sense but if makes me feel unpleased. Nobody else at school with hair like mine has it out and I don't want to be the odd one out. So I try my hardest to look pretty. But I decided to quit using braids because I lost my confidence in them. I started straightening my hair, it worked. For a week. It was going to well. But they day i started school it stopped working, I can't understand why because i went to thorpe park and it was fine. So I had to put it up, and I wasn't sure if it looked great or not. Everyone said that liked it but they didn't sound like it. And one girl in my english class made a comment about having to sit next to me because the seating plan changed. She said "I have to sit next to _____" to someone in my class, with her voice in a higher tone and laughing. It was 100% implied in a mean way but I want to understand what's wrong with that. I always assume it's something to do with my looks because if that was my friend they would've said nothing and probably had a conversation with her. Everyone treats me different to my friend and I'm worried they just see my as "____ friend" and not as my own person. Sometimes I wonder if anyone had thought why someone like my friend would want to be friends with me and i think about it myself. I don't have any ways/methods on how to calm myself down without crying or getting upset. I had a panic attack all because of my hair. i hate it a lot.


how i feel

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