hated by mum.... :(

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  1. Gamer
    WizardLet11 / Jul 03 2021 13.59

    hello, my name is Leticia and am 13yrs old ,i am in year 8. I live with my 15yr old brother, mum, dad.Okay so what is going on with me is that my mum treats me like rubbish,whenever we are alone she will be rude and shout at me and tells me off for the smallest things. She blames me for everything even if i didn't do that thing. My brother gets treated perfectly and never gets into trouble,he gets what he wants and is allowed out with friends but i do not get that stuff. My mum just hates me and disrespects me and much more. She acts like a responsible mother when we are in public or when we are with family so that they do not know what she does. She denies everything bc 1 school day i told a teacher about her and she called my mum, my mum said i was lying so the teacher told me off. Also she said to me "can i get rid off u and get money?" so she wants me gone. A few days ago she then said "Do i know u?get out of my house" so she acts like am a stranger. My mum is the reason i have depression, she even says i fake it for attention,same with anxiety. I cry self to sleep every night cause of her and i also shake and cry in school,i can never concentrate with lessons. Pls help,what should i do???

  2. Sheep
    AHumanCalledMe / Jul 27 2021 23.31

    Hi Leticia,

    I'm sorry you haven't had a reply sooner and I really hope that I can help.

    I think the best thing you can do is to avoid any 1-2-1 situations with your Mum if you're able to, that way, there will be less opportunity for her to be unpleasant towards you. Maybe it would help to keep a diary of things your Mum does that you don't feel happy about on your phone, just make sure there is no way she could access the diary. It wouldn't solve the problem, but often writing down your feelings can really help you get it all off of your chest.

    Do you think that you would be able to speak to your Mum about how she is making you feel? If you would, maybe you could try sitting her down and reminding her what she has done recently (e.g. shouting at you) and ask her WHY she does it. Make sure if you do do this, you stay as calm as possible, and that if she starts being unpleasant, you leave and walk away.

    How about maybe talking to someone you trust about your Mum. Is there a family member who you think would believe you and be willing to stand up for you? Maybe if your brother could speak to her, if she likes him so much. Who was the teacher you spoke to the first time? Maybe you could try a different teacher, and even if they phone your Mum again and she denies it, you could remain firm and adamant about what is happening.

    Slightly risky, but if you speak to lots of people and nobody believes you or tries to help you, maybe you could start a voice recording on your phone each time you go into a 1-2-1 situation with your Mum. IF YOU DO DO THIS, MAKE SURE THERE IS NO WAY SHE COULD NOTICE IT AND THAT YOU ARE KEEPING SAFE.

    Finally, what is happening is NOT IN ANY WAY your fault and your Mum has absolutely no right to speak to you how she does.

  3. Sheep
    AHumanCalledMe / Jul 27 2021 23.31

    Hi Leticia,

    I'm sorry you haven't had a reply sooner and I really hope that I can help.

    I think the best thing you can do is to avoid any 1-2-1 situations with your Mum if you're able to, that way, there will be less opportunity for her to be unpleasant towards you. Maybe it would help to keep a diary of things your Mum does that you don't feel happy about on your phone, just make sure there is no way she could access the diary. It wouldn't solve the problem, but often writing down your feelings can really help you get it all off of your chest.

    Do you think that you would be able to speak to your Mum about how she is making you feel? If you would, maybe you could try sitting her down and reminding her what she has done recently (e.g. shouting at you) and ask her WHY she does it. Make sure if you do do this, you stay as calm as possible, and that if she starts being unpleasant, you leave and walk away.

    How about maybe talking to someone you trust about your Mum. Is there a family member who you think would believe you and be willing to stand up for you? Maybe if your brother could speak to her, if she likes him so much. Who was the teacher you spoke to the first time? Maybe you could try a different teacher, and even if they phone your Mum again and she denies it, you could remain firm and adamant about what is happening.

    Slightly risky, but if you speak to lots of people and nobody believes you or tries to help you, maybe you could start a voice recording on your phone each time you go into a 1-2-1 situation with your Mum. IF YOU DO DO THIS, MAKE SURE THERE IS NO WAY SHE COULD NOTICE IT AND THAT YOU ARE KEEPING SAFE.

    Finally, what is happening is NOT IN ANY WAY your fault and your Mum has absolutely no right to speak to you how she does.

    AHumanCalledMe / Jul 28 2021 14.34

    If you ever feel at immediate risk or in danger, do call 999. Don't feel like you have to do any of these things if you don't think you'd be safe/comfortable doing them.

    I hope this helps,

    A Human Called Me

    P.S. Please excuse the essay!

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