Was it sexual assault?

Show
  1. Loser
    Jakeisacake / May 16 2021 11.56

    sup. my names jake.

    bit of background, i was dating my best friend for the most part of a year before i cut him off in december bc he was a nasty piece of work.

    he was extremely abusive physically, mentally and emotionally.

    it got to the point where we recently had to get the police involved.

    i believe i have PTSD or something similar as a result.

    he would often sexually harrass me.

    so this one time i was over at my friend (ill call them S)‘s house. we were a small friend group, just me, S, my ex ‘C’ and another friend.

    because of COVID, we couldnt go inside, so we were sitting in their garden. they live in a flat so their garden is shared with their neighbours, this meant that anyone who lived there could look out of their window and see us.

    C was being extremely tactile, hugging me, kissing me, all that jazz. i repeatedly told him to stop, as it was making me uncomfortable for many reasons, primarily that everyone could see us and we‘re in the middle of a pandemic.

    he was refusing to stop.

    at some point i was sitting with my back against the wall and C ‘topped’ me. it felt extremely sexual, especially because of all the sex related things he had said in the past about me. he started kissing my face and i threw him off me.

    i was pretty distressed, and i gave him a brief lecture on listening to people.

    he apologised, saying he didnt mean to upset me. before he did it he told me to let him know if i was uncomfortable with anything he did.

    so, my question it, was that sexual assault?

    thanks.

  2. Childline Avatar
    ghostyjunko / May 23 2021 16.20

    hey, i'm really sorry this happened to you, but yes it's sexual assault, even if he asked you to let him know if you were uncomfortable beforehand, since he didn't stop when you asked.

  3. Loser
    ghostyjunko / May 23 2021 16.20

    hey, i'm really sorry this happened to you, but yes it's sexual assault, even if he asked you to let him know if you were uncomfortable beforehand, since he didn't stop when you asked.

    Jakeisacake / May 23 2021 23.51

    alrighty thanks kind stranger

  4. Butterfly
    Jakeisacake / May 16 2021 11.56

    sup. my names jake.

    bit of background, i was dating my best friend for the most part of a year before i cut him off in december bc he was a nasty piece of work.

    he was extremely abusive physically, mentally and emotionally.

    it got to the point where we recently had to get the police involved.

    i believe i have PTSD or something similar as a result.

    he would often sexually harrass me.

    so this one time i was over at my friend (ill call them S)‘s house. we were a small friend group, just me, S, my ex ‘C’ and another friend.

    because of COVID, we couldnt go inside, so we were sitting in their garden. they live in a flat so their garden is shared with their neighbours, this meant that anyone who lived there could look out of their window and see us.

    C was being extremely tactile, hugging me, kissing me, all that jazz. i repeatedly told him to stop, as it was making me uncomfortable for many reasons, primarily that everyone could see us and we‘re in the middle of a pandemic.

    he was refusing to stop.

    at some point i was sitting with my back against the wall and C ‘topped’ me. it felt extremely sexual, especially because of all the sex related things he had said in the past about me. he started kissing my face and i threw him off me.

    i was pretty distressed, and i gave him a brief lecture on listening to people.

    he apologised, saying he didnt mean to upset me. before he did it he told me to let him know if i was uncomfortable with anything he did.

    so, my question it, was that sexual assault?

    thanks.

    Coffeeislife476 / May 26 2021 16.45

    Hi, im sorry but yes this is sexual assault and he should've stopped when you asked him to.

    Can i ask, you dont have to answer if youre not comfortable with it, but when you say "Topped" what do you mean by that? Just because if he penetrated you in any way then this is extremely serious (obviously its horrible either way) its just that if that happened then he didnt just assault you.

    I would strongly advise that you report him to the police.

  5. Loser
    Coffeeislife476 / May 26 2021 16.45

    Hi, im sorry but yes this is sexual assault and he should've stopped when you asked him to.

    Can i ask, you dont have to answer if youre not comfortable with it, but when you say "Topped" what do you mean by that? Just because if he penetrated you in any way then this is extremely serious (obviously its horrible either way) its just that if that happened then he didnt just assault you.

    I would strongly advise that you report him to the police.

    Jakeisacake / Jun 09 2021 0.13

    he didnt penetrate me, when i say topped i mean (while fully clothed) climbed on top of me in a sexual position. we have reported it to the police.

  6. Butterfly
    Jakeisacake / Jun 09 2021 0.13

    he didnt penetrate me, when i say topped i mean (while fully clothed) climbed on top of me in a sexual position. we have reported it to the police.

    Coffeeislife476 / Jun 09 2021 20.43

    Thats great im really glad you were able to do that i really hope it all works out for you and im so sorry you had to go through this

  7. Loser
    Coffeeislife476 / Jun 09 2021 20.43

    Thats great im really glad you were able to do that i really hope it all works out for you and im so sorry you had to go through this

    Jakeisacake / Sep 21 2021 23.17

    suuuuuuuper late because i suck at timekeeping lol. thank you so much for saying that, i really appreciate it :-)

  8. Butterfly
    Jakeisacake / Sep 21 2021 23.17

    suuuuuuuper late because i suck at timekeeping lol. thank you so much for saying that, i really appreciate it :-)

    Coffeeislife476 / Sep 23 2021 22.00

    dw! im really glad it helped x

  9. Explosion
    Jakeisacake / May 16 2021 11.56

    sup. my names jake.

    bit of background, i was dating my best friend for the most part of a year before i cut him off in december bc he was a nasty piece of work.

    he was extremely abusive physically, mentally and emotionally.

    it got to the point where we recently had to get the police involved.

    i believe i have PTSD or something similar as a result.

    he would often sexually harrass me.

    so this one time i was over at my friend (ill call them S)‘s house. we were a small friend group, just me, S, my ex ‘C’ and another friend.

    because of COVID, we couldnt go inside, so we were sitting in their garden. they live in a flat so their garden is shared with their neighbours, this meant that anyone who lived there could look out of their window and see us.

    C was being extremely tactile, hugging me, kissing me, all that jazz. i repeatedly told him to stop, as it was making me uncomfortable for many reasons, primarily that everyone could see us and we‘re in the middle of a pandemic.

    he was refusing to stop.

    at some point i was sitting with my back against the wall and C ‘topped’ me. it felt extremely sexual, especially because of all the sex related things he had said in the past about me. he started kissing my face and i threw him off me.

    i was pretty distressed, and i gave him a brief lecture on listening to people.

    he apologised, saying he didnt mean to upset me. before he did it he told me to let him know if i was uncomfortable with anything he did.

    so, my question it, was that sexual assault?

    thanks.

    sunr4ys-bbyy / Oct 11 2021 18.19

    this is so late but yes, if u didn't consent, that is assault and i'm so sorry u had to go thru that. even if he didn't mean to upset u, the breaching of boundaries u set wasn't a healthy thing to do, & it wasn't right. u may want to discuss this w someone - as a result of an emotionally abusive relationship i had this year, i had c-ptsd (complex ptsd, very common after abuse) & it's a rlly hard thing to have to go thru alone. i'm glad the police are giving u support, tho.

    all the very best of luck, if u need anything ask :)

    - s x

Show

saying
exactly
how i feel

Talk to us about anything