So, I’ve never had a good relationship with food. But issues started when I was in year 3. I would take a full hour to eat 1/2 a sandwhich, and the rest of the food that was in my lunch I would give or throw away. I wasn’t concerned about my body image back then, I just had a dislike for eating. It was that year that my best friend noticed my eating habits and she was quite concerned, but we weren’t exactly close friends as we had almost completely selerated into different frienship groups.
My eating habits continued into year 7, when things started getting really bad. I would skip meals, I didn’t eat any school lunches, I would have a good breakfast, but when it came to dinner, I would pick at my food. Looking at or even thinking of food just makes me feel sick, I got bloated really quickly. It got to the point where I wasn’t getting enough protein and my energy started going rapidly downhill. I remember walking up the stairs and my legs gave way, making me collapse, I caught myself luckily but things like that were starting to happen more often. It was around this time that family issues started forming as well. My bestfriend (as i mentioned before) finally asked me about my eating habits, she was really concerned and brought up the idea that i may be anorexic. But I shook my head and denied it. I thought my eating was average.
In year 8 I started worrying about my body image. I got called skinny, thin, a stick, but when i looked in the mirror I saw a fat giant, this didn’t help with the trust issues i already had. I did see a neutrisionalist, but everything i do, doesn’t seem to go into my head.
I am eating better now that lockdown has happened, because my parents are keeping an eye on me, but i still feel sick whenever i look at or think of food.