hi im 15 in year 11 i think i have lots of symptoms of depression or anxiety but havent been diagnosed or anything.i am with CAMHS been with them for quite a few months now .i am on the list for CBT(which is cognitive behavior therapy)i dont know when im starting that.i also dont think ive started much with my CAMHS worker but dont have a clue.i feel low all the time and feel like giving up im avoiding time with my family as i just want to be alone .i feel like everything i do is hard and a challenge. 
school is stressful and hard and cant concentrate when i try .the list could go on ,dont have motivation and just cant do school work .this lockdown in tier 4 doesnt help even though im not sure if anything much has changed for me. 
.i feel like crying all the time and sometimes i can cry for ages then i feel like crying and want to cry but cant physically cry.i do experience lots of thoughts towards suicide which is hard especially when im actually giving up with myself.ive also been having a lot of panic attacks recently which is also new to me .feel like life is too hard and my feelings are getting worse.my parents dont understand and have been saying things that don't help,my friends are all over the place with me as some are ok and then some have arguments.i dont know what to do and im already finding it hard to distract myself . im not even in the mood for new year
i really dont know what to do and sorry to bother anyone .
im not expecting a reply from anyone as i dont feel good enough for living but just had get some of this of my mind.
x
thanks so much plz plz plz reply i know so many ppl have it worse and i just wanted to say im not trying to gain any sympathy i can give you advice if you need it aswell :)
