Unhelpful chats

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  1. Bursting
    Blackcurranticecream / Dec 08 2020 10.52

    the chats suck. they dont help at all

  2. Reaching out
    Jas-Host / Dec 08 2020 12.31

    Hi Blackcurranticecream,

    If you felt able, it would be really good to know what some things are that happen on chat to make them like this for you?

    What things just don't work for you on a chat and what things you think could be done differently?

    And if others want to share how they find the chats, we can always pass on feedback and suggestions

    Take care,

    Jas-Host

  3. Lion
    Jas-Host / Dec 08 2020 12.31

    Hi Blackcurranticecream,

    If you felt able, it would be really good to know what some things are that happen on chat to make them like this for you?

    What things just don't work for you on a chat and what things you think could be done differently?

    And if others want to share how they find the chats, we can always pass on feedback and suggestions

    Take care,

    Jas-Host

    BennyWithAWhy / Dec 08 2020 17.03

    Hello.

    Sometimes I feel as if some of the counsellors follow a script because they seem to ask the same questions and make me feel as if they just want to get the chat over and done with instead of helping and supporting in an empathetic way.

    For improvements maybe the counsellors could maybe ask more on how things make us feel as this can make us feel like someone actually cares.

    On the other hand there are some really kind counsellors who really do seem to care. I told a counsellor about how I was feeling quite low about myself and they said nice things and it just boosted my confidence a bit so thank you :)

    Benny~

  4. Top dog
    GoldenRetrieverPuppy / Dec 09 2020 17.02

    Here are the things I would like the counsellors to do that would make the chats so much better:

    •DON'T TRY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT. This one is the biggest one. I hate it when I'm trying to talk about my issue and they just change the subject!

    • Don't end the chat. Let us decide when we want it to end. I hate it when counsellors end the chat when we have not found a solution, just because we have reached 40 minutes!

    • Don't say the same phrase over and over again. A lot of the counsellors say "I can hear that", and while that is an OK phrase, it sometimes feels like it's a script, because they say that so many times. The counsellor I was just speaking to said "I'm wondering" five times in the same chat.

    • Read what we have said properly. Don't just skim it. This can cause us to waste loads of time.

  5. Reaching out
    BennyWithAWhy / Dec 08 2020 17.03

    Hello.

    Sometimes I feel as if some of the counsellors follow a script because they seem to ask the same questions and make me feel as if they just want to get the chat over and done with instead of helping and supporting in an empathetic way.

    For improvements maybe the counsellors could maybe ask more on how things make us feel as this can make us feel like someone actually cares.

    On the other hand there are some really kind counsellors who really do seem to care. I told a counsellor about how I was feeling quite low about myself and they said nice things and it just boosted my confidence a bit so thank you :)

    Benny~

    Jas-Host / Dec 09 2020 19.47

    Hi Benny,

    Thanks for this and we will pass on to the counselling team for you as it's always so important to hear from you all about how chats can feel and come across.

    We're glad you had this confidence boost and sometimes, it can take just even a little thing to make a chat feel really connected. But it should always feel like you are being supported. What are some of the same questions that you find you are asked? We know that there are some things that the counsellors maybe need to ask to gather some info and to perhaps clarify some things but it would be good to know from you as it can allow the counsellors to think about other ways of asking or phrasing things a little differently. What do you think?

    Take care,

    Jas-Host

  6. Reaching out
    GoldenRetrieverPuppy / Dec 09 2020 17.02

    Here are the things I would like the counsellors to do that would make the chats so much better:

    •DON'T TRY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT. This one is the biggest one. I hate it when I'm trying to talk about my issue and they just change the subject!

    • Don't end the chat. Let us decide when we want it to end. I hate it when counsellors end the chat when we have not found a solution, just because we have reached 40 minutes!

    • Don't say the same phrase over and over again. A lot of the counsellors say "I can hear that", and while that is an OK phrase, it sometimes feels like it's a script, because they say that so many times. The counsellor I was just speaking to said "I'm wondering" five times in the same chat.

    • Read what we have said properly. Don't just skim it. This can cause us to waste loads of time.

    Jas-Host / Dec 09 2020 20.02

    Hi GoldenRetrieverPuppy,

    Thanks for posting this as the more we hear from all of you, the more we can pass on to the counselling team to let them know how chats feel for all different young people. And it's how they can see what works and what maybe needs to change.

    Sometimes, a counsellor might need to ask a question to check something out and that can move away from the issue you'd started talking about for a little bit, maybe even using up some of the time you'd wanted to use to focus on that subject. And sometimes, they might try to go to a different issue or look at it from a different angle if it feels like the same things are being talked about maybe over a few chats without those really going anywhere which might not be helpful for you. But it should always feel as if you can say actually, I came on to talk about this and to ask them the reasons for them moving on to a different subject, so that you can work together.

    Chat endings are hard as while a chat can't go on for ages and ages, 40minutes is a guideline and some are shorter and some are longer. And it should always feel that you're working towards something, to prepare you for the chat ending without it coming out of nowhere in the middle of talking and having maybe a bit of a plan, even if that plan is what to think about for next time.

    Saying the same phrases sounds similar to what Benny said in this thread and it's definitely something we can let the counselling team know about as we never want talking to a counsellor to feel like it comes from a script. And everything should be read properly - it sounds like maybe a lot of time is used by repeating things you've already written and it's not been picked up?

    As always, keep any feedback about any part of Childline coming.

    Take care,

    Jas-Host

  7. Bursting
    Blackcurranticecream / Dec 10 2020 8.02

    once you tell them you are getting support from a doctor, they act as if i don't need support anymore.

    they ask the same question over and over again

    once they asked me to talk about my depression. and then how it felt like. Seriously? what am i supposed to say!!!

    they asked a few questions and then ask how childline can support you.

  8. Bursting
    Blackcurranticecream / Dec 14 2020 14.11

    i don't like being asked so many questions

  9. Top dog
    Jas-Host / Dec 09 2020 20.02

    Hi GoldenRetrieverPuppy,

    Thanks for posting this as the more we hear from all of you, the more we can pass on to the counselling team to let them know how chats feel for all different young people. And it's how they can see what works and what maybe needs to change.

    Sometimes, a counsellor might need to ask a question to check something out and that can move away from the issue you'd started talking about for a little bit, maybe even using up some of the time you'd wanted to use to focus on that subject. And sometimes, they might try to go to a different issue or look at it from a different angle if it feels like the same things are being talked about maybe over a few chats without those really going anywhere which might not be helpful for you. But it should always feel as if you can say actually, I came on to talk about this and to ask them the reasons for them moving on to a different subject, so that you can work together.

    Chat endings are hard as while a chat can't go on for ages and ages, 40minutes is a guideline and some are shorter and some are longer. And it should always feel that you're working towards something, to prepare you for the chat ending without it coming out of nowhere in the middle of talking and having maybe a bit of a plan, even if that plan is what to think about for next time.

    Saying the same phrases sounds similar to what Benny said in this thread and it's definitely something we can let the counselling team know about as we never want talking to a counsellor to feel like it comes from a script. And everything should be read properly - it sounds like maybe a lot of time is used by repeating things you've already written and it's not been picked up?

    As always, keep any feedback about any part of Childline coming.

    Take care,

    Jas-Host

    GoldenRetrieverPuppy / Dec 15 2020 15.47

    Hello,

    Thanks for replying. The issue with changing the subject is it wastes time- for example, once, I asked the counsellor to read the notes from my last chat, so they did- and then they asked me about my day at school. I did not want to talk about my day at school! I wanted to talk about the issue I had talked about in my last chat. Another time, I was trying to talk about a problem and they asked me what my hobbies were. They derailed the conversation and then said "sorry, it's time to end the chat now". That one left me so angry.

    Sometimes I find that counsellors will try to abruptly end the chat as soon as it reaches 40 minutes. A few of them have told me that it's very important we stick to 40 minutes or less. I know it's supposed to be a guideline, but some of the counsellors seem to treat it as a limit.

    Another thing I find is that counsellors seem to misread what you tell them. A counsellor once said to me: "It seems like you are getting great support at school and at home". I was getting NO SUPPORT AT ALL. That was incredibly frustrating.

    I think one thing that makes a lot of difference is what they say at the start. One counsellor said: "hi can i start with your name and age please". It seemed like I was talking to an AI. Another said hello, told me her name, and said I could give my name and age if I wanted to, but I didn't have to. It felt much better, like I was talking to a real person. It might not seem like much, but it makes a big difference to how comfortable I feel with the counsellor.

  10. Loser
    ElijahNerdy / Dec 18 2020 16.16

    tbh one thing i hate about the chats is when they make everything about suicide. I showed them a script about how i felt that if me and my brother were about to get run over by a speeding train, my mum would pull my brother out the way and not me even though i have ambitions i am able to follow and he wont go anywhete in life (not being rude, just a fact) and then even though tjere was jo mention of me beinf suicidal or about to commit suicide rhe first thing they said was

    "sO iM aSsUmInG yOuR fEeLiNg SuIcIdAl?"

    🤦‍♀️

  11. Lion
    GoldenRetrieverPuppy / Dec 15 2020 15.47

    Hello,

    Thanks for replying. The issue with changing the subject is it wastes time- for example, once, I asked the counsellor to read the notes from my last chat, so they did- and then they asked me about my day at school. I did not want to talk about my day at school! I wanted to talk about the issue I had talked about in my last chat. Another time, I was trying to talk about a problem and they asked me what my hobbies were. They derailed the conversation and then said "sorry, it's time to end the chat now". That one left me so angry.

    Sometimes I find that counsellors will try to abruptly end the chat as soon as it reaches 40 minutes. A few of them have told me that it's very important we stick to 40 minutes or less. I know it's supposed to be a guideline, but some of the counsellors seem to treat it as a limit.

    Another thing I find is that counsellors seem to misread what you tell them. A counsellor once said to me: "It seems like you are getting great support at school and at home". I was getting NO SUPPORT AT ALL. That was incredibly frustrating.

    I think one thing that makes a lot of difference is what they say at the start. One counsellor said: "hi can i start with your name and age please". It seemed like I was talking to an AI. Another said hello, told me her name, and said I could give my name and age if I wanted to, but I didn't have to. It felt much better, like I was talking to a real person. It might not seem like much, but it makes a big difference to how comfortable I feel with the counsellor.

    BennyWithAWhy / Dec 19 2020 9.31

    May I add to this?

    I know counsellors do this to get a wide understanding of whats going on, but even if I say I might leave abruptly they still always change the topic. One of the chat rules is 'keep focused on the chat' but some of the counsellors don't do this...? For example, one time I was looking for advice on getting to sleep but instead it went to talking about my parents.

    In my opinion, the 40 minute rule should not count in the time you wait for a reply because sometimes the counsellor can take a while to reply (for reasonable reasons).

    Yes sometimes I feel the counsellors speak like robots. Sometimes the counsellors don't introduce themselves and it can feel like your talking those robots on the other end of the phone saying "press 1 if you have problems at home" or something like that. Also can you make it so counsellors always start the chat...? I'm sorry for being stupid but I get kind of nervous about waiting for a message to start the chat and then it's been one minute so then I have to say something it makes me feel so dumb.

    Thank you.

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