I had a huge argument with my 'best friend' and now she hates me (Please read for context)

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  1. Flying
    lemonclouds / Sep 24 2020 18.52

    Okay so basically I had an argument with my 'best friend' because ever since we got back to school she has been pushing me away and ignoring me and telling me to go away and stuff.

    Then a couple days ago she told me this other girl hated me and it was all I could think about, I even ending up relapsing because of it. (the girl she said hated me happened to be one of my other close friends). I eventually confronted the other girl about it and she said it was not true and she didn't hate me. So I went to my 'best friend' and she said it was a lie and she was annoyed at something and took it out on me, even though it had nothing at all to do with me. So I told her that it wasn't okay and she said, "yeah but its in the past now and anyways I apologized."

    Does she not get that I literally relapsed really bad about it? (I didn't tell her I relapsed because she doesn't know I self harm) but it was a really big deal to me. And now she is ignoring me and I saw her pointing at me and talking to her other friends, I do not want to ho back to school at all tomorrow.

    - Blair

  2. Childline Avatar
    Bexpanda / Sep 24 2020 19.10

    hi!

    im really sorry you feel this way, but tbh she doesnt sound like a friend who you really need in your life. maybe you should sit her down and talk to her about what hwppened and how you felt. if she still doesnt get it, maybe youbshould try to distance yourself from her. that sounds like a horrible thing to do, that could ultimately ruin several relationships for you. it isnt fair for her to treat you this way. i think its time for you to find some new friends, starting with me! srsly tho. she sounds toxic.

    hope this helped!

  3. Bookworm
    Stories4ever / Sep 24 2020 19.23

    Hey,

    First of all, unfortunately this sort of situation is pretty normal, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Two of my close friends took what was happening in their life out on me, they were going through a tough time at home, and I think they were jealous that I was 'fine' (even though I wasn't, I just hide it). It really hurts, so I now how it feels. the worst thing is that I tried to do the same to another one of my friends, I did the exact same thing, and I feel so guilty but I couldn't help it, I may not have said mean things as bad as the friends that said things to me, but that doesn't stop the fact I did it. Sometimes when things at home are bad, you feel the need to take it out on someone else, and that is just as horrible, as having someone hurting you. Bullies are always victims and I think people forget that. I learnt to forgive the people who hurt me, I am not their friends anymore, but I wish we were. By forgiving it has freed me to move on, it took a while, it scared me out of making new friends (I had just started year 7) and I didn't make friends until year 9, but now I am not afraid of relationships as much. I also ruined my relationship with the friend I hurt, but at least we still talk, and I guess I deserve it. Maybe you could try and talk to your best friend, or if she won't talk to you, send her a text, asking if she's ok and wants help? I hope you are ok too - I know self harm relapsing it hard to come back from. I assume you've heard of the butterfly project? Well, you can draw a butterfly after me if you'd like - because I support you and I know you can do this, I care. xxx

  4. Flying
    Stories4ever / Sep 24 2020 19.23

    Hey,

    First of all, unfortunately this sort of situation is pretty normal, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Two of my close friends took what was happening in their life out on me, they were going through a tough time at home, and I think they were jealous that I was 'fine' (even though I wasn't, I just hide it). It really hurts, so I now how it feels. the worst thing is that I tried to do the same to another one of my friends, I did the exact same thing, and I feel so guilty but I couldn't help it, I may not have said mean things as bad as the friends that said things to me, but that doesn't stop the fact I did it. Sometimes when things at home are bad, you feel the need to take it out on someone else, and that is just as horrible, as having someone hurting you. Bullies are always victims and I think people forget that. I learnt to forgive the people who hurt me, I am not their friends anymore, but I wish we were. By forgiving it has freed me to move on, it took a while, it scared me out of making new friends (I had just started year 7) and I didn't make friends until year 9, but now I am not afraid of relationships as much. I also ruined my relationship with the friend I hurt, but at least we still talk, and I guess I deserve it. Maybe you could try and talk to your best friend, or if she won't talk to you, send her a text, asking if she's ok and wants help? I hope you are ok too - I know self harm relapsing it hard to come back from. I assume you've heard of the butterfly project? Well, you can draw a butterfly after me if you'd like - because I support you and I know you can do this, I care. xxx

    lemonclouds / Sep 24 2020 21.48

    Thank you so much, reading this really helped me. I think sending her a message will help, I would love to talk to her but she is ignoring me. I don't know how well she would take it tho as I am not ready to tell anyone about my sh, so I would have to leave that bit out.

    Thank you again for the advice, and I think I will try the butterfly project!

    - Blair

  5. Flying
    Bexpanda / Sep 24 2020 19.10

    hi!

    im really sorry you feel this way, but tbh she doesnt sound like a friend who you really need in your life. maybe you should sit her down and talk to her about what hwppened and how you felt. if she still doesnt get it, maybe youbshould try to distance yourself from her. that sounds like a horrible thing to do, that could ultimately ruin several relationships for you. it isnt fair for her to treat you this way. i think its time for you to find some new friends, starting with me! srsly tho. she sounds toxic.

    hope this helped!

    lemonclouds / Sep 24 2020 21.54

    Thanks this really helped.

    I think talking to her would help, but I am not ready to tell anyone about my sh, so I would have to leave that bit out. I have some other friends that I hang out with, so I think it would be best if i spent more time with them. She also kept saying I liked this boy even though I don't and when I said no she couldnt take it for an answer. And when I asked her to stop she said I should cut him out of my life if I didn't want people to say stuff and I said well whh should I have to cut him out of my life just because people can't take no for an answer.

    Also I would love to be ur friend!

    - Blair

  6. Childline Avatar
    Temporary37580311 / Sep 29 2020 15.13

    I am sorry to hear about all this poor you . I also have a friend who says I like a boy when I really don't but I still get along with her because I try to not mention him or the subject of boyfriends. I think you need to talk to your friend (I mean really talk not just text) to let her know how you feel about it all. if she really wont understand then try not to hang out with her any more. that might give her some time to think about it. also consider why she was annoyed but there really is no excuse for that kind of unkindness. wishing you the best of luck.

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