Here to help any trans guys, gals and non binary pals (and anyone else who needs advice)

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  1. Wallflower
    AlpacaInATrenchcoat / Jul 22 2020 23.00

    Hello everyone! My name’s Noah and I’m a queer and ftm. I’m making this thread who wants some advice and stuff like that. One thing I will say though is that I won’t be able to give incredible advice for coming out as let’s just say I didn’t come out very well. Anyway, I know being trans sucks so I wanted to make a thread to support my fellow trans people. I‘m also more than happy to just have a chat with anyone who wants to.

    Anyways, hope y’all are doing well!

    Noah

  2. Childline Avatar
    AlpacaInATrenchcoat / Jul 22 2020 23.00

    Hello everyone! My name’s Noah and I’m a queer and ftm. I’m making this thread who wants some advice and stuff like that. One thing I will say though is that I won’t be able to give incredible advice for coming out as let’s just say I didn’t come out very well. Anyway, I know being trans sucks so I wanted to make a thread to support my fellow trans people. I‘m also more than happy to just have a chat with anyone who wants to.

    Anyways, hope y’all are doing well!

    Noah

    PupKitty456701 / Jul 22 2020 23.23

    Could you deeper explain what it’s like being trans (only if your comfortable) because I’m unsure of my sexuality rn and I’m trying to find out but the internet hasn’t been all that helpful :)

  3. Wallflower
    AlpacaInATrenchcoat / Jul 22 2020 23.39

    I’ll try but it might not make too much sense as it’s really hard to explain. I’ll mainly be using my own personal experiences to try and explain.

    Right. So a transgender person is someone whose biological sex (what the doctor says you are at birth) doesn’t match their gender (what you are in your head). For example I was born female but I am in fact a male. Trans people experience something called Gender Dysphoria which is litterally just you sex doesn’t match your gender. You’ll normally see the word dysphoria used to describe when someone is uncomfortable with certain parts of their body that doesn’t match their gender. I experience dysphoria around my chest, hips and voice. Different people will experience different levels of body dysphoria. I personally am not that bothered about the fact I don’t hav e a penis but other trans guys might.

    There are often signs that you’re trans from when you were younger. Ths does not mean you know when you’re young as some people only work it out when they’re an adult. I‘ve always been a tomboy and never felt comfortable is things such as dresses and I always felt more comfortable with boys rather than girls. I never understood why I had to like dolls and princesses when I wanted to play with the action figures and stuff that were stereotypically boy things. When I hit puberty everything got so much worse. I hated parts of myself that were becoming more prominant due to puberty yet I couldn’t explain why. It wasn’t until last year when I stumbled across a trans Youtuber where everything started to make sense. Since then I’vecacepted myslef and come out to friends and I’m sort of out to my parents.

    Transitioning is where a trans person is able to live as their gender. You can medically transition...(TBC)

  4. Wallflower
    AlpacaInATrenchcoat / Jul 22 2020 23.49

    ...which includes surgery and hormones and you can also socially transition which is you being your gender in public and stuff like that. Not everyone wants to medically transition which does not make them any less valid. Personally I want top surgery and to be able to take testosterone. There are things that trans people can do to make themselves more comfortable in their body if they cannkt get surgery yet/ at all. Ftm people can get binders and packers. A binder is a tight top sort of thing which compresses the chest. It can be quite dangerous if done incorrectly. A packer is something you can put in your pants to make a bulge.

    I think that’s a bit of an overview of everything. I don’t really know much about MTF people. They do do something called tucking which is how they can hide their penis. This can only be done sveral hours at a time (I’m not sure the exact time though. Sorry). I will be doing more research into MTF people though.

    I hope this helps you and sorry it’s so long. If you have questions please ask.

    -Noah

  5. Lion
    BennyWithAWhy / Jul 23 2020 11.04

    Hello there Noah I hope you are well too. Do you have any ways of debating with enbyphobes who say '"they" is only a plural, it can't be singular' because usually I am very good at debating but these folks are just too heccing stubborn and it really heccs me off about how they are not open to any new ideas, they're just stuck in their own narrow views (they start criticising my taste in music when they're losing the argument for goodness sake- who does that?).

    Thank you in advance, sorry if this is not the sort of question you were hoping for, I'm just kind for desperate here (I hate losing arguments ha ha :P)

  6. Wallflower
    AlpacaInATrenchcoat / Jul 23 2020 14.00

    Ask them how many times they’ve said “Where are they?” whilst referring to one person. Everyone does it. Also you could try and explain how gender is a spectrum or maybe ask them why they care if that person is happy with themselves. Don’t know if that would work but it’s always worth a shot. Honestly I don’t have many ideas. Those are the best ones I’ve got.

    Hope this helps!

    Noah

  7. Lion
    AlpacaInATrenchcoat / Jul 23 2020 14.00

    Ask them how many times they’ve said “Where are they?” whilst referring to one person. Everyone does it. Also you could try and explain how gender is a spectrum or maybe ask them why they care if that person is happy with themselves. Don’t know if that would work but it’s always worth a shot. Honestly I don’t have many ideas. Those are the best ones I’ve got.

    Hope this helps!

    Noah

    BennyWithAWhy / Jul 23 2020 14.38

    Thank you for helping, it means a lot! :D I saw something on the internet in reply to 'The Enbyphobes'saying 'if you care more about grammar than a person's happiness then go be an English teacher'. Made me laugh.

    Once again thank you for your help. :)

  8. Wallflower
    AlpacaInATrenchcoat / Jul 23 2020 16.56

    No problem, just happy to help. That’s a great line though.

    Best wishes,

    Noah

  9. Bookworm
    Robin07 / Jul 23 2020 22.51

    Hey Noah,

    First up thanks for making this!

    Just wondered what your advice would be for someone like myself who is struggling with finding a name that feels like “me”. I was “born female” but realised after months i identify as Non Binary. Im struggling a bit to find a name that feels right.

    also, I sometimes find myself feeling guilty for being who i am and changing my gender idenity. Do you have any tips for learning to love yourself and not feel like a burden?

    Thanks again!

  10. Wallflower
    AlpacaInATrenchcoat / Jul 23 2020 23.18

    First of all you should not feel guilty for who you are. I did after m parents found out (long story) as they seemed so dissapointed. However, I realised that I’ve always been a boy and that I can’t help who I am. There’s no point in trying to hide the true you if it stops you from being happy. Everyday, maybe when you first get up but really it’s up to you, look into a mirror and give yourself at least one compliment. More than one would be better (maybe 3) but I understand that sometimes it’s hard to love yourself.

    Finding a name can be difficult. I was lucky as I asked my parents what they would’ve named me if I was a boy a d they said Noah. It felt right so I’ve stuck with it. You could try making a list of names that you like and try some of those out. You could also look at baby name websites and look for unisex names. Remeber that dinding a name can take time and it’s perfectly fine to go through several names before finding the one that’s right for you.

    Do you want any name suggestions? I could give you a few if you want.

    I hope this helps!

    Noah

  11. Mouse
    AnEnbyNamedTess / Jul 25 2020 10.16

    Hi Noah. Just some advice for dealing with dysphoria? I’ve got super bad chest and face dysphoria and it makes me hate myself so much :(

    -Sam

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